It still fascinates me that I am all back into Apocalyptica and am travelling around for them – so yeah, another day, another show and another trip for me it was.
Apocalyptica were playing in Cologne on 21st of October and having grown up there, it was a natural thing to go there – for the show but also for seeing my family again.
(First off – check the setlist and you will know why I chose that title for the blog entry…)
So it was Hamburg, 8am, when I hopped onto the train to Hannover where I had to do quite some running to get my connection train – at least that one had also been delayed so I was still arriving in Cologne on time.
My dad picked me up and at my former home I still had some time to plan my days and have a quick bite before I rushed to the venue (my dad drove me, again – so luckily no public transport for me). And surprise – opposite to what I expected, I´ve been just the second fan that had been showing up in front of the empty venue. I felt pretty stupid to be fair, because I dislike standing there like an idiot or/and a groupie or whatsoever. I am not, I am not even someone anymore I´d call a “hardcore fan” anymore. I am someone who appreciates their music and has a connection to them, and that´s why I am doing all this madness (yep, it is madness in other people´s eyes, and that´s totally fine for me as not everyone needs to understand all of my actions).
And this time it was pretty good to be there early – singer Franky had been doing
sightseeing all day and nearly walked past the venue without realizing it´s the venue. It is soemthing I truly appreciate – someone who takes time to really go and see things. If you wanna see the stuff he photographs on those trips – go and check out his Instagram page! he´s got an eye for amazing stuff, details and angles and moods. I love the photos!
Anyways, it was cool meeting him pre-show, and before the fans slowly started coming to the venue. Still surprised how long it actually took until it got more crowded, I am used to the old days when everyone was eagerly queuing for hours (which I always disliked). I also met a long-time friend finally again – and it was kinda cool to be attending a show of this band together again, after we had met back then thanks to a show of Apocalyptica. And it was frontrow, and right where I wanted to be once more to have fun, to laugh, smile, and this time to not shed a tear.
I was surprised how things in my life changed and how I seemingly feel so much better
now, because songs that usually broke me and made me cry did not make me cry but made me just enjoy and sing along. One of those examples is “Hope Vol. 2” – a song that brings back sad memories, and killed me in Hamburg and Bielefeld. This time I felt like it was different – I felt like it was comforting me, like this song was “licking the wounds from the past” instead of ripping them open again. And this is something I never thought to happen and also not that fast. Maybe it is because Franky sings it and has made it his very own song, and that his voice just comforts me. I don´t know, sometimes things do not need words – cannot be put in words. it just is the way it is, and it´s fine that way, too. I cannot believe how much I´ve fallen in love with Franky´s voice and him being in Apocalyptica and at the same time I so fear he will be around just for this “album cycle” – and that´s probably the biggest compliment I could ever give a singer that is with Apocalyptica.
I really enjoyed the show once again, yet I still don´t like all the stuff that is projected on the backdrop – my brain explodes, too much going on, and I cannot really enjoy that. Sure, closing eyes is a good way how to escape from all this, and it´s what I´ve been doing, but in the end I wanna watch the show and not just listen to it.
At the end of the show, Paavo handed me his setlist – I 
haven´t had one for ages, it´s been years. And at the evry same time as stating that, I also gotta state that there´s been probably fans out there that would´ve loved to ahve it even more than me. I am realistic, material things will never be able to come close to the experiences, and all this, that a show and everything gives me.
After show I waited for the band with my mum (she and my stepdad had also been at the show) and my friends – but in the end and thanks to an asshole security we were chased off the venue grounds and couldn´t get anywhere near the exit and the bus so we just left. This security was probably the most frustrated human being on earth, looking at how desperately he was using his “power”. nearly a reason to feel sorry for this guy – but just nearly.
You never need luck when you don´t stop 