Last playtime before the actual performance, and last time doing the choreography in the performance room before the performance night…and that during a week where I was really busy, running frome one appointment to another, and my freetime was not any better than my work time. Busy to an extend that I was just dead every evening when I dropped into bed – at around midnight.
And this play time day not any different – the fact that it just starts at 9pm was really getting me, because I was exhausted and not in the mood at all – but I knew I had to get it working, because there was no other day where I could rehearse. And as I was really insecure, I had to gain some security and feel good in my body again.
Warming up on my own. Yes I know, it is one of my weaknesses, because I am always so impatient to get onto the pole that I want to keep it as short as possible time wise, but during the lessons that´s not possible…at the play time it is. But I more and more got the hang of really sticking to it, even though it´s far nicer to do it in a big group than like this.
Put me on repeat
That was, what I did. Again. And again. And again. At first the full choreography, or at least most of it, but usually without the matching choreography music, simply because at leats I am so sick and tired of the song, that I always wanna avoid hearing it.
It really was like: it was over, drink, start from new, swear a bit, laugh about a fail, repeat again and again. And be happy that it actually is going better than expected, even though I was having a hard time to remember the order of moves at times. Turning off the mind and just doing things, yeah, that was proving that this clearly is the best way how to go through the choreography because I´ve been doing it for so long that I do know the order and the moves and everything, I just have to get the grip of how to not confuse myself and get me insecure.
But the insecurity was partially caused by the fact that I was afraid that my arm or my shoulder would be screwing up again and that the pain would be back and everything would be in ruins once more. But it hasn´t, so that was clearly a positive thing whilst one thing was the opposite: the fact that we didn´t really do the nding properly yet made me and my pole dance mate start it on our own during the play time, simply because the feeling of only doing it for the first time in the lesson, right before the performance, totally killed me mindwise.
I really hate the feeling of not being prepared, and this really caused this feeling like hell. And I tried righting it, and it was a good idea. I felt much better and safer again after the play time, because we did a lot and it really worked out surprisingly well.
So I really left the ADC with an exhausted smile on my face, yet another small blister on my fingers and the dream of a hot shower, as well as a nice hand lotion.