It´s been a while since the performance and last lesson actually happened, but I waited for a while in the hope of some photos from the performance night to be only by now, but unfortunately this is not yet the case. Therefore I am hopefully going to be able to hand those to you later on – and just have my own rare shots from the day, as it was not allowed to photograph yourself during the performances.
On this day, I woke up feeling feverish and first thing I did in the morning was taking some pills against my flu. I was determined to just get through this day, whatever it may cost – I mean, I worked my ass off for 8 long weeks to be standing there today and rocking it. And nothing would ever stop me – everyone who knows me, also knows that this is the normal me. Though I changed and became a lot more cautious, I am still having my moments…
We finally learned the ending, kinda. I mean, someone from my course and I already did it in the play time as I told you, but now we did it properly and not just “maybe like this, somehow” – and besides this, it was all about repeating the choreography over and over again, and one more time, and a second time more and…repeat this part again, explaination of how to do it better and where it was still critical, being told we were always too fast and wanted to rush through certain parts (understandable if you´re worried you couldn´t hold yourself up with just one arm on the pole for long).
When doing all of this, my flu was nearly forgotten, but my overworked arm said “hi” again, so I just watched during the last repetitions of the choreography to not totally kill my arm.
After the lesson, we started he transformation – aka putting make up on, changing clothes, me taking some painkillers for my arm and my flu feeling…and somehow I was still not really too nervous, I was rather calm and focussed, hoping to get through it without any major flaws caused by flu or arm pain.
I´ll be taking away the fun fact right away – because, being totally honest, I cannot remember much of the performance itself anymore. It´s that moment when you turn off your brain and just dive into your very own world, ignoring all the people that were sitting close to the pole and everyone was watching and usually it is a situation that drives me crazy and into total insecurity. On that day, I just tried to suck up the music and just let my body do it all.
I remember that I fucked up two things – once I used the wrong arm up, and then I once was too fast and then too slow. But at least we were seeminglx all rather too fast in the song but still at the same speed in the group itself.
After the performance I immediately went to get changed, because I felt the flu kicking in even stronger – the bed was calling instead of watching other performances, and funnily enough: the feeling of happiness about a good working performance and relief of it having went so well really needed quite some time to actually kick in…