Always on Sunday (4)

I know it isn´t Sunday anymore, and instead Monday, but I came home Sunday evening from Berlin and really didn´t feel like writing this anymore – because if I would have, then I would´ve just tried to rush through it, and now I can take some time and slowly write this. And properly reflect on a week that was…Well you know, there´s weeks where you really wonder if life is a bitch.

// Seen // Soccer! It´s been ages since I was at the stadium the last time, and seeing new stadiums is always a nice thing – not being really a stadium hopper, but anyways new places, new fans, new warm up music (Rammstein was followed by Eminem here in this smaller stadium by Union Berlin). Last but not least, stadiums with a story and a history always are the best ones!

// Listened to // “Hope Vol II” by Apocalyptica – but the live version with Franky Perez. The most beautiful version ever, and touching me every time I hear it. So much beauty, so much emotion, so much feeling and depth…it´s like he is really living the song. And then brings back so many memories and feelings from my side. And no matter how much of a sobbing mess I always am when hearing this, it gives me so much power that there is no words for it.

// Done // I travelled to Berlin for soccer match and sightseeing and also of course to see my family again, and hit Berlin with my boyfriend (sweet memories right there!). I was running in the rain and getting soaked, I saw the FC Köln win and finally saw some live soccer again. But during the week I also cried, I was desperate, and insomnia and anxiety is back due to what´s happening in my company. What else did I do? Man, i feel like I can mostly remember the negative things unfortunately, but isn´t it always like this?

// Eaten // We´ve been out in Berlin at an Indian Restaurant ( with my mum, stepdad and my boyfriend. From the outside really not spectacular, but also not from the inside – but the food was really really good! And to be fair, there was plenty of it, afterwards I really felt like a ball rolling back to the car…

// Thought // So many negative things. I don´t even want to write about those, but it´s all been about my future, do´s and dont´s, and and and…my mind was going crazy and couldn´t really stop spinning anymore, no matter at which time of the day. Certain news are just not made for giving you a peaceful time in whatever way.

// Happy about // Being out of Hamburg, going to Berlin with my boyfriend – brings back sweet memories. Same goes for seeing family again. And soccer. A bit of time to ease the mind.

// Read // There is this Facebook page called “Humans of New York”, showing New York´s faces – lately showing and sharing stories of veterans from the Afghanistan and Iraq wars. Touching and really human stories, from perspectives that the average person simply doesn´t see because…so many veterans stay quiet, and you do not necessarily have a vet in your family. So this is really eye opening, even though it is indeed a controversial topic, raising discussions. And it think it´s good that way. 

// Angry about // Too much, and about things that should not be part of this blog and are nothing to be discussed only, I am sorry guys.

// Wished for // It to be Thursday already, knowing if I have a future at my current company or if I will be one of those that are being dismissed. This is the only thing. And I wished for being able to sleep properly again. But that goes hand in hand with my first wish.

// Dreamt about // All sorts of nightmares. Like, most I cannot even recall anymore, I just remember waking up halfway crying, totally disturbed, and wanting to not fall asleep again. I think this tells it all. And I am probably lucky to not recall the content of such dreams. Might be even more disturbing otherwise.

// Bought // A new pair of shoes at Berlin main station because mine got soaking wet and thus I needed new ones. And man they´re really not comfortable, more than a few hours you cannot wear them…nice waste of money but there was no way around this.

// Clicked // Mostly LinkedIn to friend colleagues and former ones, and to stay in touch and and and. Connections are important, especially in my industry, and now is the time to fully live up to this all…

// Played // Goodgame has globally launched “A little lost”, a cute puzzler game and I now also tried it on mobile (aka my tablet) to also see what changed since I had played it afterwards. I still find the art and everything really cute and adorble, you really gotta have hearts in your eyes. Nice effects, but rough payment walls in some levels that really make you struggle. All in all – a nice thing for little breaks ^^ 

// Statement of the week // None, sorry. Would be all work related ^^


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