Day X+37/38/39 – Hello October!

Taken in 2012

Day X+37 (01.10.2016)
Out of Hamburg, in Lüneburg, with my boyfriend – for (window) shopping, walking around, photographing a bit and watching “Finding Dory” in the movies. And it was a perfect day, ignoring the grey weather.

Getting out of Hamburg was really important for me, seems like only then I can fully relax right now. And in Lüneburg we got a lot of nice city center style (old houses wherever you look!) and there was some medieval stuff going on on this weekend – we had the perfect timing! We walked and walked and walked…man my feet and legs were tired in the evening, it was hilarious. But breathing was so much better, and my cold at least pretended to have gotten much better – probably because the air just is a different quality than here in the big city.

I ended up buying a little baking book for apple pies and related, it was really chep and had nice things in there, maybe I will be baking a bit soon ^^ then some sweets and here and there some things before we went to see “Finding Dory” and…I became a little girl again. So adorable and sad and cute and awwwwwwwww. I hadn´t been in the movies for ages and then loveseat, with my bf, a cute and adorable movie…totally in love and…perfect 😀

Day X+38 (02.10.2016)
It´s been, after my boyfriend left, all about cleaning and getting stuff done and so my mood dropped rapidly. It was fascinating to watch in some way, though yeah – it sucked because I really felt so good and happy and everything.

But after I was alone again, I was back in this “don´t care, don´t wanna move”-mood again that lately it following me like a dark cloud. But I got my stuff mostly done anways, and also wrote an application for a job offer that had just been posted. I planned on not writing any for a week, but these things, meaning: job ads that sound amazing, are things I cannot let pass by…probably I will never fully get out of this hamster wheel feeling, but I really gotta make tiny steps to finally be able to relax again after the Lüneburg trip had such a good effect on me…

Day X+39 (03.10.2016)
I woke up being totally unmotivated. I think I have never had this “unmotivated”-feeling as bad as today. So it was a day full of watching useless TV whilst being curled up in a blanked, cooking a bit, baking a bit, playing Sims for a while, reading a  book, and loads of staring at the computer without really knowing what to do.

The weather also was not too inviting to go outside for a walk and I was tired, so the insides were my kingdom for the day. And I was hungry. A lot. I don´t know where this shit now comes from again, but maybe because of all the slime-loosening meds…totally frustrating and annoying and making me worry about even one thing more. Worrying has become a hobby for me, unfortunately. About my future, my health, my weight, everything. It´s a good friend nowadays -.-

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