Day X+42 – Keeping myself busy

For the first time I actually managed to sleep properly, except for having been wide awake at around like 5am, craving food and not feeling tired anymore for half an hour. Afterwards I dropped back into the endless worlds of sleep because I was just so exhausted from the day.

In the morning my neck ache was gone, and my headache, too. So it was a good start into a generally good day. More or less.

I was productive with baking, and sewing a bit and editing photos and pickung up a parcel from the postal office…and it was all fun and nice but deep inside I just didn´t really feel well – neither health wise, nor mentally. Something is lurking in the back of my mind, maybe because I feel useless again, at least a bit. But having received the materials for sewing, and being at my boyfriend´s place tomorrow I will hopefully do better soon and also have some distraction.

I will keep myself busy and prepare for next week which is going to be busy – two job interviews and two days my Scrum Master / Product Owner course…there is not much time left for relaxing and everything, but I will create some space for it. Somehow. and I really need to do some sports again when I am hopefully gonna be fit again and not battling the last pieces of my cold.

And well, my compensation is on my bank account now and it once again is like a slap in the face. It really is showing that it is final and everything. Sucks that feeling. I mean I know it is over but somehow it still hurts. I have no idea if that is normal or if I am overly attached or overly emotional or so…I just loved my job and am having a hard time letting go.

Ah well, I will be cooking soon (so I don´t continue eating the dumplings with apple filling) – no idea yet what, but I will be coming up with something. Hopefully more creative than yesterday 😉 Motivation? Nope. Not really, because my kitchen still looks like someone dropped a bomb whilst baking…this is the part I hate about baking – you need zillions of things and stuff…and then afterwards you gotta tidy and clean it all up…


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