Always on Sunday (18)

…and again it is Monday. And if I wasn´t such a robot, I would keep on postponing this blog entry to whenever I feel like writing again. Because there is times that life comes into the way of writing and my mood has been low yesterday, and in the evening a slight migraine joined and fully killed the evening and also my night partially…

So yeah, again not in the mood, but let´s finish it off after three days of filling in this “form” 😉

// Listened to //
Lately it seems to be Placebo time, as I listen to it when going to my course now, when I leave the course and when I am taking hot baths – I don´t know why, but I think the moods of their songs simply fits the weather and season quite nicely…

// Done // I started my project management course and in contrast to what I expected (that it lifts my mood) things got worse and some other things added to it – and brought me pretty down, and I am struggling to get back up again. Still no sewing as I still do not have the damne dmissing screw and I am getting desperate because I really miss it…so all I did was starting my course and …feels like that´s it.

// Eaten // Not as much unhealthy stuff as I thought I would have, but my chocolate something cookies or whatever to call thi kinda kill my healthy eating plan quite a lot – I need to control this a little more than I will be doing quite well again. And I had selfmade pizza again – still healthier than the stuff you can buy from the fridge or delivery service…but sin enough ^^

// Thought // That I would be getting this screw, and be able to start sewing again which I really need…but oh how wrong I was, again. I know why I struggle with trusting people…

// Happy about // Hm. I am struggling to answer this question this week somehow, the weather was not really too pleasant, attending this course did not really make me feel any better about my situation, just the cookies from my aunt probably qualify for “makes me happy”…

// Read // Project management related things and how to create a goal hierarchy for my project pan that is one out of three parts that determine if I will be passing for my certificate in Fabruary or not…

// Angry about // The state and the rules and everything. 28€ of housing money per month, well thank you. It is hilarious. Surely better than nothing but still, it makes me angry to see how much effort you gotta invest into sending them all of the requested documents just to get THIS out of the whole thing…I can just shake my head. Same goes for the hilarious prices that the public transport ticket here in Hamburg costs…totally over the top, idiots.  No wonder many people rather risk being caught whilst not having a ticket and using the transportation…moneywise it would be a good deal, because if you get only caught once a month, you still pay less than when paying for a ticket…not talking about everything else that comes with it, but still…

// Wished for // That people, “friends”, would actually contact me also when they do not need any kind of help or support from me. I am sick and tired of people just getting in touch when there is something going wrong, and if everything is okay, they disappear and you literally have to run after them to actually get in touch again…but wishing for this probably is a waste of time anways.

// Dreamt about // No dreams for me. I am in this phase of “why would I dream, I just get up every day to get my done and then that´s it”, I feel like I even have given up about hoping/dreaming about finding a job that starts straight after my course ending at the end of February next year. Why dream, it won´t change a thing anways. When it comes to dreams at nighttime though I have quite many, and odd ones. Mostly ones where you wake up and go like “what the hell…?” and can at least have a smirk about it…if you want to.

// Bought // Nothing special – I had hoped that I would have been able to get a new screw for my sewing machine, but the person who told me that he´d send me the damned screw never got back to me, did not send the screw and als does not answer emails anymore – I am sorry to say, but what an asshole. What is the problem of telling me eg that you were wrong and don´t have that screw as you initially thought? Ah well…besides this, sewing needles in case I will ever get back to sewing again and then the normal stuff like food and drink…

// Statement of the week // “I hope you know you’re capable and brave and significant. Even when it feels like you’re not.” [To Write Love On Her Arms]



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2 Responses to Always on Sunday (18)

  1. Laura Meyer says:

    Oh, come on, you need to give life a little smile, will you? This week’s retrospect sounds so sad, thath’s heartbreaking! Everything will turn out just fine in the end. Just keep your head up!

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