Always on Sunday (40)

A late release of the blog entry today, because I was busy with cleaning, then sewing and then going for a walk – I had to use the beautiful weather, forgot about the time and then was starving. So this kinda shows the reasons why 😉


// Done //
– 2 job interviews
– Feeling sick – and needing to stay in bed, inside and unable to do sports
– House scores – the weekly necessary evil
– Writing applications
– Sewing something that I was asked for – and I am terribly worried it is not gonna fit xD
– Photo editing (yes seriously, I am back to editing photos from Hamburg Metal Dayz 2016)

// Eaten //
– Asian takeaway (rice and meat and some veggies)
– Loads of veggie and fruit
– A good balance between meat and fish
– My beloved chocolate pancakes that I really couldn´t be living without anymore

// Bought //
– Food and more food and even more food
– New baking bowl as my old one broke
– Something for Mother´s Day already
– New fitness stuff from Gymqueen

// Listened to //
– Faey
– They have their new album “Honey & Cinnamon” out, so please go and do me a favor and check it out, you will thank we later on!
– Apocalyptica – Mostly the “Shadowmaker” album because I wasn´t feeling too well mentally and this album always just cheered me up a load!

// Watched //
– “Die Kochprofis”
– That moment when you see a chef mix alcohol into his salad sauce and probably will not even inform guests about the fact that there is alcohol in it…this just scares the hell out of me, really. And when I see in general how they cook and everything – well, no thanks. No surprise that noone wants to go and eat there even though the location so so freaking beautiful and would be a dream to have good food there…
– “Mein Kind, Dein Kind” – it´s about two families comparing their style of having their kids grow up – totally hilarious how some poeple think it´s okay to have their kids grow up and how they are being take care of. Scary as hell.

// Read //
Nothing specific really, here and there a bit about fitness food, lactose free products and all of this – so yeah I think it´s been mostly about food and healthy food choices.

// Played //
Well, a little session of “Catherine” at my boyfriend´s place, but that´s it. I wish I had a keyboard and mouse without cable so I could play stuff on my TV instead of needing to sit on the computer all the time which is not too inviting right at the moment somehow.

// Thought //
I´ve been thinking a lot about how depressions and anxiety have changed me since my teenager years, and especially how my sudden dismissal and unemployment has kinda fuelled many of these anxities. I always find it important to really reflect on my behaviour, because otherwise I´d have never noticed that I am panically checking if all windows are really closed and worrying if I did so and if I did lock the door – and that all literally just started with the moment where this “I need to survive with not much money”-feeling came into my life. And turned me into a control freak to ensure that I am not also losing something else than “just” my job as it had been. I am nevertheless happy that this gradually becomes less and less, yet I still have bad days where I feel down anyways and go nuts again…

// Happy about //
Sometimes about being able to sleep in – especially when I had a bad night or so, then it is precious to be able to sleep long in the mornings. And being lazy and sleepy until lunchtime is also sometimes nice, but I´d prefer to have a reason to get up fully motivated.

// Angry about //
The fact that everyone gives discounts for pupils, students, disabled and even retired people – I don´t get it, often students and retired people just have the same amount or ore money per month than I do, and being someone who actively works on getting out of unemployment and back into employment, I don´t get it. I seriously do not get it, but maybe that´s just the frustrated me about my financial situation.

// Wished for //
The application marathon to be over, but instead it´s been another around 2 weeks of waiting and hoping, and I really wished for me being able to stop hoping and be more objective and everything simply to minimize a possible frustrating outcome or anything like this.

// Dreamt about //
About weird Easter eggs that are chocolate from the outside, but like a honeycomb in the inside – but in a way that you could still eat it. Really odd, how I saw myself and my boyfriend robbing on the floor to find these eggs that additionally were also trying to hide and run away. I really have no idea at all what on earth this is all meant to tell me, except for maybe being crazy 😉

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