No pain, no gain…

…that´s whar you read and hear everywhere and from everyone, at leats it always feels that way. And I´ve been joking a lot about this sentence, I used it for moments where here and there a muscle was sore and walking upstairs was feeling terrible after some workout at gym.

But lately with my running training I really got to know a different “no pain no gain” feeling. And I am honest: it´s often been a pain I had known only from injuries before, but not as a normal “you train hard”. And I´ve had sore and stiff muscles that my physiotherapist had to loosen up which often brought me close to crying – one or the other tear still found its way out of my eyes and over my face during this. I never thought I was such a pussy, but painful legs are far more terrible than my stiff neck and back ever could have been.

The pain after 10km in a new best time, aka under 70min, it was a positive pain but one that really made me wonde rif my legs were gonna fall off any second, or after my first 15km run where I though my muscles were about to rip and my legs to fully break. But what developed itself to be a total torture: the blisters on my feet, both on the same area of each foot, thanks to the new inlays making my feet and all of my muscles work hard against the weak feet issues.

It´s been blisters opened with a need on top of blisters opened with a needle on top of yet another blister…sore feet, all painful with the blisters, and even wearing normal socks was painfull. Every step in whatever kind of shoes was awful, and you really had to bite your teeth together to keep going or in the other way, keep running. Yes, I had to swallow hard, once, twice or many times in a row. Many times. No matter if it was the feet or my muscles in my legs needing to adapt to the new “setup”.

And all you gotta do is keep going, do active recovery, and work on the pain to disappear hopefully until the next training session. And to be honest, that doesn´t always work out that well, there are times where one rest day is not enough and I need another one, where I hardly get out of bed because I feel so exhausted and when even turning in bed hurts leg-wise. I never guessed what a tough road my preparation would be – but it´s one that really makes me mentally stronger. Because I learn to be tough(er), to push through and push my limits every damn time – and that´s to tiring. And painful.

And now that I have all talked about physical pain…let´s talk mental pain (or struggle)! There is nothing more painful for the ego than struggling with a 4km run, struggling with the mind that tells you that you will never manage to run the half marathon, tells you you´re too fat and unsportive to really get this all going and working out. And all of these terrible thoughts come up when you are running – they are like the dark cloud over your head, following you wherever you are running.

And getting rid off these doubts and negative thoughts already isn´t my best practice during normal life, and especially not during sports-times as I have no real body feeling and no idea how far I have already come (I know I´ve walked a long road, but don´t realize that) and thus it´s further, further further and when it´s not working I am close to freaking out quite a few times.

Yes, I have kicked trees, I have hit an innocent tree randomly during one of my frustration attacks during running. Did it help? No. It just brought additional physical pain on top. And once there is physical pain, the mind aches from all the worries it carries in itself and then has unleashed. Devil´s circle, here we go. I think too much, even during running, the mind spins and drives me nuts – and when it has stopped, I stop running and it´s all back twice as bad.

Summary?

Pain from sports? I had no clue until I started all this running with having a goal. I´ve been clueless

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