Half marathon 2018 – why?

Since I announced that I plan on participating in a half marathon in the summer of 2018, many were shaking their head, and many asked me the stunned question “why on earth do YOU want to run a half marathon?”.

Well, the question is understandable. Me and running. 2 years ago it would have never come to my mind that I would more than 4km for a charity run and even do that in my free time. Out of my free will – and with a smile on my sweated face.

When I started Weight Watchers and my weightloss journey, I noticed how it became incresingly easy to be part of those charity runs, that it was not that terribly bad and embarassing anymore. And that kind of brought back the fun, or the first spark. And then I decided, I needed some workout besides hoop practice but didn´t want to spend any additional money – and ended up buying running shoes and started running.

And to be fai – I hated it at the start, I found it totally boring and uninspiring and without music nothing was even possible. I´ve always been someone who listened to music whilst working out in anyways, but even that…no, it took me a qhile to really get into it. I had this bet going that if I managed a certain amount of kilometres, I´d get my shoes financed – so that was a good motivation for the start, to actually get going and not let it be. And that was the moment where I actually started enjoying it – that moment when I managed o turn off the mind, when my thoughts went all blank, when I was just running. When the world around me was – it was there but it didn´t matter, just as everything else was not of any importance when I was running.

And now this year I got into it even more, I had a goal – the Tough Mudder, the Muddy Angel run, and then the Mud Masters run…all motivated me, all showed me how much joy running can be especially when you see so much progress.  I started when I was dying at 4km, and the Mud Masters was 12km. And it´s improving and improving and I just wanna keep going.

I now started even to go running without music, I feel like I don´t need it anymore – because my mind turns off without music and I feel like it´s the best way after a stressful run.

Anyways, why a half marathon? Well, I wanna run the full Tough Mudder next year anyways, and that´s around 18km with obstacles – and a half marathon is just a few kilometres more, minus the obstacles. And with a time limit of 3 hours. And with time pressure.

So basically..it´s all about challenging myself for me, I don´t do it to show off and impress others, I do it for myself, I wanna see how far I can get, how much I manage and what my body can show. It´s a thing all about myself. About my body, and especially about my mind – willpower, mental strength. I don´t only train my body, I also train my mind. So bascally I train for myelf because I want to, and the run itself will hopefully just the cherry on top a nice cake 😉

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Me vs university


Lately I´ve been asked pretty often if it was great for me to be learning again, now that I was studying for my master´s degree that I just started end of August. So now it´s been 1,5 months and people seemingly expect me to be all excited and all over the place with happiness.

Well, reality looks different – as I have to face certain things and issues that somehow I didn´t quite saw coming or happily ignored whilst deciding that I want to study again,  applying for the studies and starting my studies. It all seemed so easy  – I mean, I work fulltime, sure, but I have plenty of freetime. I thought.

I forgot about the fact that after 8 hours of work, occasionally needing to do grocery shopping and once being home and having eaten, motivation is something that I could rather buy in the stores than find it with me, and inside my head.

I love learning, no doubt – but not at 8pm and later on during the week, with time pressure of knowing that I cannot take too long for assignments as I need to be in the office the next morning again. It kills the fun, it kills the interest in long texts that actually are exciting to read and about topics that I enjoy reading about – if I have the time and capacity to actually be properly reading instead of skimming through the pages as quick as possible with just an eyes for what information you gotta grasp in order to fulfill the tasks. It´s not about learning as the big picture. You, or well, at Least I, learn how to efficiently run through texts and get the minimum out of there in order to somehow pass the tasks. Not less, not a tiniest bit more.

Also because I don´t have the power for it – I am simply mentally exhausted when I leave the office and only physical stuff like working out (where I don´t need my head that much) actually is an option. So once I sit on the couch, it´s kinda over. Or if I find something that qualifies as nice thing to do in order to not do any studing (my kitchen is so clean, it´s fascinating already).

What I also somehow ignored beforehand…how much effort it needs, how many tasks there are and what the extend of those assignements cover. It´s at least twice as much as I had expected, so I am not getting along with my “max. 2-3 hours once a week on a Monday” in order to get things done. Either I am terribly slow or things are complex – okay, I have to say that I try to get things done as early as possible already now that I have little courses, simply because I need to also do that when I will have more than this now as courses during the next semester. And I don´t even wanna think about next semester with even more courses.

Because – as I mentioned, I still have my sports and the training for my half marathon and all my mud obstacles runs next year and I really need it because it´s the best thing to clear the mind after a stressful day at work – and cutting this down is no option. And I have my relatio nship that of course wants to be nurtured and taken care of, and I need time to myself for doing…nothing. Oh and I also have a sewing machine that is catching dust aready, just as my 15 unread books are also catching more and more dust. I really don´t know how to handle everything and put everything into one week as I do not have someone taking care of my house chores and grocery shopping in oder to save time.

Do I sound desperate? If not – man I am an amazing actress. If I do – it´s how I am at the moment. Like, desperate. Already now, after 2 weeks of 3 years of studies ahead. With working 40h a week. I have no idea how this all is supposed to be from success in the end without me burning out. And I am jealous of those people, who easily manage 40h a week of work, studies and hobbies without feeling like a hamster permanently running in a wheel that´s only supposed for sprinting.

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Cooking: Salmon in pancetta with mashed sweet potatoes and beans


Cooking book: Lust auf Kochen: Kreative Rezepte für jeden Tag
Publisher: Kochhaus

Estimated time:  30min
Actual time:  40min

Difficulty: 2/10
Amount: For 1 person (initially two but easy to split up)
Price per person: ~3-4€


I really love anything that goes into the direction of crispy bacon when put into a hot pan, and same for salmon. And this combination really caught my eyes in the cooking book but initially had turned me off because pumpkin had been playing a role in it. Now I simply dismissed it, and in order to make it nice, I changed it to sweet potatoes – and now pumpkin and no mango, it´s sweet enough like it is 😉

So it was really not tough to prepare, you really need enough space to get everything going at the same time. And keep things warm, in case there is some waiting time, as it had been the case with me, as I prepared the salmon too late. So wrapping the salmon in the pancetta was a first struggle as the pancetta was falling into pieces when just looking at it, and the second one: how the hell to wrap it around the salmon? But I managed. And then it partially fell apart when putting it into the pan….but as you can see, you can still hide it somehow so that it works and looks well.

Overall – a foodgasm combination, the salmon and the pancetta…though it has tons of calories, it´s something I will clearly do more often fro now on!

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1. FC Köln vs Roter Stern Belgrad (28.09.2017)


Mein ganzes Leben lang habe ich davon geträumt, und all die Jahre immer lauthals mitgesungen “Eines Tages, eines Tages, eines Tages wird´s geschehn…” – wir sind jetzt zwar nicht nach Mailand, aber geil ist es trotzdem. Und mein Traum erfüllte sich trotzdem.

Nachdem ich in London nicht dabei sein konnte auf Grund meines Jobs, war ich umso glücklicher, dass ich jetzt dabei sein konnte. Das erste Heimspiel, international. Seit so vielen Jahren. Irgendwie konnte ich das Ganze gar nicht richtig begreifen, als ich nach Köln gefahren bin und den Tag über im Kölner Büro meiner Firma gearbeitet habe. Und mich dann auf den Weg zum Stadion gemacht habe. Ich stand in der Bahn, und irgendwie…dämmerte es mir da langsam. 1. FC Köln. Es war ein Donnerstag. Es konnte kein Liga-Spiel sein. Es war der Europa Pokal. Es war…international! Das, was ich immer besungen hatte.

Der Tag war da. Und ich war dabei. Vor Ort, nicht vor dem Fernseher. Nein, im Stadion.

Ein Platz auf Ost, schön nah an Süd, und super Blick auf das Spielfeld. Aber zuerst – Tasche abgeben, dann anstehen – nur um dann zu einem anderen Eingang geschickt zu werden, wo es dann wundervoll flott ging.

1:10 Std bis zum Anpfiff. Und ich saß da, schaute mich um. Und langsam wurde es, von Minute zu Minute, realer. Ich war wirklich da. Es war kein Traum, es war Realität. Spieler wärmen sich auf, die Hymne – meine Stimme war danach schon ziemlich im Eimer. Erkältung und lauthals mit Inbrunst singen – tödliche Kombination, aber, scheiß egal! Schade, dass es keine richtigen Choreos mehr gibt – aber die Pyro und alles war schon geil. Ich war schon immer ein Fan davon, und fand dieses “oh mein Gott ihr bringt damit eure Mitfans in Gefahr” schon immer relativ lächerlich, aber na ja. Regeln sind Regeln – aber: scheiß drauf!

Und dann…das Spiel. Die erste Halbzeit war so ziemlich zum Vergessen – wenn mi jemand erzählt, dass sei Sicherheitsfußball oder so ein Scheiß – sorry, aber Angstfußball oder aber “ich bekomme den Hintern einfach nicht hoch und laufe nur hinterher, weil ich keine Ideen habe”-Fußball war das wohl eher. Und das hat mich echt aufgeregt – was

haben sie zu verlieren? Nichts, gar nichts. Und klar, dass dann der Gegner aufspielt und mit einem spielt, das 0:1 war noch verdammt glücklich, so wie Belgrad gespielt hat. Das hätte ganz anders aussehen können.

Die zweite Hälfte – Moment, bin ich beim richtigen Spiel? Schaue ich auf das richtige Team? Wie ausgewechselt, schnell, fordernd, und endlich ging mal was – und das auf´s gegnerische Tor und nicht nur auf das Eigene. Aber mit nicht sonderlich viel Glück, Latte, Pfosten…ich hätte gerne meinen Herzfrequenzmesser angehabt, um mal zu sehen, wie sehr mich das mitgenommen hat. Es war zum Haare raufen, der Ball wollte einfach nicht ins Tor, und sie Belgrader hatten viel Spaß am Boden. Meine Gedanken dazu erspare ich euch, sonst müsste ich das ganze eh zensieren. Aber ich glaub ich hab noch nie so viel “mimimimi” und “oh ich hab einen Wadenkrampf ich sterbe” bei meinem Fußballspiel gesehen wie dieses Mal. Es war schon echt lächerlich.

Am Ende blieb es 0:1 und irgendwie…das war schon unbefriedigend. Nicht, weil wir verloren haben, sondern weil es in meinen Augen durchaus hätte ein Unentschieden sein sollen, wenn alles vergleicht. Aber so war es nicht, und irgendwie…ja doch, ich war genervt, und der Gedanke daran, dass ich Anreise, Abreise und alles ja geldtechnisch auch noch hatte, war nicht gerade aufheiternd.

Aber…ich hab ja noch ein Spiel, das Heimspiel gegen Borisov Bate…vielleicht sehe ich da ja einen Sieg…international…mit dem FC…

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Goodbye WeightWatchers

So as you know, WeightWatchers has been part of my life for now more than 2 years and it´s been the right start into my weightloss journey. I´ve been going through many ups and more downs lately, and there has been successes, no doubts.

At the start it went well, once I got to track everything I ate – and I enjoyed the fact I was able to eat veggies and fruits as much as I wanted to. My weight dropped, dropped, dropped and dropped even more – and I was only 6kg away from my goal weight.

And then something happened and until this day, I dunnot know what actually happened. I started working out more, being even more active, and was still tracking all my food. but instead of the weight going down still, it started going up since summer again. And I am clueless why, it feels like WeightWatchers is not really going anywhere anymore, so lately I´ve been really doubtful and wondering what to do.

It´s not like I am gonna give in, no. I just needed a change – and I decided to kill my abo for WeightWatchers and switched to Yazio, another app – but for counting calories. It´s making even more work for me, because now I also need to track every veggie I am eating in detail which I didn´t have to do with WeightWatchers, hut maybe that is why it all didn´t work out in the end anymore. I again have 10+kg to lose to reach my goal weight, and according to Yazio it takes me around 26 weeks if I keep my calories…I don´t believe in it, but I wish it was true ^^

Once I am more using Yazio for a bit longer, I´ll give you a little report on how it´s going and how the functions are like and everyhing. One thing is for sure, I´ll be spending less on Yazio than I did on WeightWatchers (online version only, no meetings).

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Photos: Muddy Angel & Mud Masters


What I just noticed when looking at some shots from MudMasters – I haven´t even shared the photos I bought from my run at Muddy Angel – so now you get a post full of photos of: myself. Enjoy!


MUDDY ANGEL (02/09/2017)

 

MUD MASTERS (16/09/2017)

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Cooking: Pide filled with tuna and corn

Cooking book: None – the internet, aka Marcofitfood and Kochbar.de
Publisher: n/a

Estimated time:  20 min +60min resting time
Actual time:  same

Difficulty: 1/10
Amount: For 1 person
Price per person: ~2 or 3€

Being sick it always makes me struggle with eating, especially if my throat aches – the thing is, I am not a fan of soups and all of this, so I always want to eat normally but at the same time, I have no appetite at all.

So I was browsing Instagram and blogs and stumbled across pide – and I had to mix two recipes as I didn´t really have all ingredients needed for any of the two recipes.

So I took a normal flour and only filled the crust with tomato, and the insides with tuna, corn and with a bit of Barilla Arrabiata sauce to make it more spicy.

The dough was easily made, and had to rest – I always put it into the oven with 50°C, because it´s never warm enough anywhere else in my apartment to make it grow properly enough.

Also, you don´t really need a dough roll to spread the dough, I also didn´t take any – and the rest, all simple.

In the end, 180°C and 20min later, you have an amazing dish – I accompanied it with tzaziki and some salad!

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Fly or drown

Whilst I am sitting here in bed with a cold/flu/whatever-the-hell it is, and when not feeling all worn out, I have a lot of time to reflect on things.

And one of those things is one question that people kept asking me after the incident on Mud Master´s “Flyer” obstacle last weekend. It´s the question of “why did you even do it if you were so afraid”. And that question is not even that easy to answer, because I feel like there is not THE answer. But I´ll try to explain.

So two years ago I was at City Slide in Hamburg, a massive slide where you had to run on a plastic surface and then jump onto your blow-up ring and slide down this big slide. I managed to step onto uneven ground, slipped and fell onto neck, shoulder and head. And was rushed to hospital with maybe a slipped disk in my neck. In the end it was no slipped desk, just massive bruises and such, but I spent days at the hospital on strong medication and suffered (and sometimes still do) from neck stiffness and such bullshit for a long time.

I told myself, I will never go onto a water slide or similar – and that was me, the person who from young age on had probably no bigge rlove than water slides. Back in the days, I spent hours in water arks, queuing for slides – no matter how wild, steep and crazy. And there I was, I needed more than a year to actually dare to walk up the stairs up to a water slide again. Even just walking those stairs, those few stairs, was massive. And no, I did not slide down the first time I went up there. But I am someone who likes to get going, who likes to face struggles because I really wanted to get back to “me” – the person who loved slides.

And after the first time I was on a water slide, I was scared. All those seconds, all the way down to the water. But I did it again and again and slowly the fun was coming back – in baby steps, smaller not possible. But I started feeling more confident all the time. Maybe because it was those closed slides, all round, no chance of much happening. Children slides.

And then I signed up for the Mud Masters run and to be fair, I noticed too late, that there was the “Flyer”- the damned slide. And from the first moment on, something in my head told me, that it´s no good idea. The surface reminded me on the one at City Slide, with just soft boundaries, that whole feel…but I decided I will manage. Maybe because I really hoped I would.

But after the start of the run, with every step I did, I knew I was coming one step close to this obstacle, and something in me was screaming “no”. And maybe I should have better listened, but I wanted to prove myself that I can manage, that I am over it. Then I was walking up these massive stairs up – 10m high. And my body was not quite sure what to think about it, my heartrate went up – hello, height. Hello fear. So I was standing there on top, aside. And somehow I knew I was going to do something stupid by sliding down. My head was blank, my feelings did not talk to me anymore. For literally the first time ever in my life. I don´t know what I felt, it was all empty – and I just looked at those people slide down, being excited. And then there was this thought: why can´t it also not make me excited, in a positive way?

And then I did what I should have not been doing – some folks walking by kinda dragged me along (no offense, it´s not their fault) and all of a sudden I was sat there. 10m down. Water. My thoughts going crazy, flashbacks to my time in the ambulance back then. And then I was like: I wanna get up, and walk downstairs.

And instead of listening to my body, my ego was like “okay, you can do that, so don´t be a pussy, and just do it, you will not re-” – and there I was sliding thinking “fuck I do regret it”, having my eyes closed, with the oddest thoughts ever during those very few seconds. And already during sliding I knew, I did a mistake. I knew that I had overestimated my progress of overcoming this fear of water slides. I really had believed I could do this, and my mind was so focusses on this “I will do this”, that the body signals were just ignored – I don´t know how that is even possible when looking back, but when ego, will and wanting to be a tough girl all come together, this is the outcome.

I had that hope that it all would just work out – that I would walk out of the water and be like “fuck yes, I did it” – I would have been scared but stronger because I noticed I could´ve done it. And instead I hit the water, and all I saw was whiteness whilst my head was under the water and the rest – I crawled out of the water, with panic wide eyes and I was done. My heart racing. And the worst thing about this situation was: I made it, but I felt worse than before, my thoughts were all full of fear instead of relief. It has thrown me back to the start, and even further back off because this experience has left mental scars again – on top of the old ones.

So yeah, maybe it explains why I did go down that slide…maybe it doesn´t, maybe I just needed to talk about it – feel free to decide yourself!

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Mud Masters in Luhmühlen – 12km (16/09/2017)

I had bought a ticket off another girl who couldn´d go (and knew that in advance) due to an injury, so I got my 12km ticket for rather little money. Compared to current prices at least.

I thought that 12km and it being close to Hamburg (just around 45min relaxed drive from hamburg by car) was a ood combination to finish off my first little obstacle run reason – thing is, my week has been terribly busy and I have been pretty exhausted and tired all week, but once I arrived there, I felt hyped.

I was suprised about the comparably cheap parking lot price (5€) and the close distance from the parking lot to the actual entrance where you had to go and check in. That went, despite the long queue, pretty quick – only thing was: they scanned your ticket but still had to ask you for your distance? What is THAT? It´s been all booked onto the bar code, but well – something minor, no biggy.  Especially since everyone was reallly charming. Reall odd was: that band that you had to put around your ankle as a tracking for photos later on. No idea how that is supposed to work, but I will see later on if it worked.

Area was nicely explained with signs and the changing room was even a tent – all covered, nice wooden floor, plenty of space, positive surprise again – except for the too loud music. It felt like it blows your eyes out. Dropping off the bag later on was also nothing too difficult, and went rather quick. The usual wristlet system, nothing special.

What I enjoyed a lot was: normal bathrooms in addition to dixie toilets. I hate dixie toilets, so poper and normal ones were a blessing. So I was all prepared for the run I thought, having watched a bit of the other runners and having warmed up myself as the warm-up in the starting area again was hilarious and useless.

I felt good during the start, was motivated and thought that the team spirit was gonna be just the same as with Tough Mudder, but to already talk about it: no, it was not the case. Many of the obstacles where you needed help, you were all on your own, and thus had to either wait for help or take the pussy way out: run around it. I don´t want to generalize stuff – there have of course been helpful people, but compared to what I experienced before, it´s been rather a fail.

But now let´s get talking about the obstacles!

Jump Overs – hay blocks that you had to get over, pretty easy and during the course there were several kinds of hay obstacles, and I really started enjoying them because they were really easy for me – even though I later on saw grown up strong man struggle with getting up and over those…

Monkey bars – I tried it too quick, and instead of taking both hands onto every bar and grab it before swinging to the next one, I tried swinging from one to another. Well nope, it didn´t work. Hello first cold bath.

Up under – you somehow have to get up and under through some gates, nothing they had to set up, but it was a welcome obstacle on the course 😉

Chest Bumpers – I think those were also hay obstacles, just a tad higher but still – no problem at all, fun, and pretty much to get over without pain 😉

Tyre Horden – You have a gate with tyres. And if you don´t jump and throw yourself with enough force onto them, you simply roll back as the tyres then move under your weight. Also no biggy, but it was really fun 😀

Combi Walls – 3m wall , but with strong men no problem 😉 And with strong women, because I spent my time first with getting the girls over before at some point I ran out of power and needed help myself…

Marine Table –  I am really not sure why it is called that way, it is a wall that bends to your so you cannot just easly jump and climb. I got some help luckily and got over that obstacle pretty easily.

Net Climb – Oh I loved it, I like climbing nets, so I could have ha dmore than this obstacle…felt amazing, mooooooore of that please 😀

Geronimo – I think it was the swinging over a puddle of water and mud – the thing was – my grip would´ve worked if I would have started from a higher “hill”, because it was again really tiny…but nearly made it and was better than many others. My pole dancing really helped there!

Mud Zone – I love mud, I love running up and down muddy little hills and crawl through the mud – the thing is: my shoes are just made for this, I hardly slip whilst others struggle xD

Buddy Carry – felt pretty stupid, not having any buddies – so in the end I just kept running because I simply didn´t eant to wait and hope for someone else to come around who also had no buddy…

Flyer – 10m high. 10m long slide. Cold water at the end awaiting. Let´s put it this way, I was scared of this for the whole time, and it was traumatic.

 


Well, I am setting this break here because: I had a forced break. The Flyer killed me. I was scared of the height and those that follow this blog for a longer time know of my fear of water slides and slides of any kind due to my accident back then. And this fear has now been growing even more, because already when sliding down and flying towards water I noticed how my heart was racing.

When I hit the water, I literally felt my heart skip a beat and my lung cramping. It wasn´t even me who noticed first that something was not right when having finally my head over water again – the water security pulled me out and when I was standing outside, I noticed how dizzy I was and how everything was turning. So they took me to the ambulance and put me to an EKG and checked my blood sugar and blood pressure and well, since my heart was beating really fast and didn´t really calm down as much as it should, the brought me to their “main first aid station” back to where the start was…and all in all I spent like an hour there, and they were not totally sure if I should really try to finish the run – but with toight restrictions on which obstacles I was allowed to do and which not. I went back to the Flyer and started from new – surely not with the Flyer again, but afterwards. Giving in is no option for me, especiay not since I felt really good again.

But: thumbs up for the paramedics, great and nice guys, and you really didn´t feel sick. They tried to comfort with loads of humor, and that just did really do the trick for me!


Getting tyred – running through tires on the floor, not too tricky, unless someone else behind or in front of you made the tyres move and then you tripped…first little challenge after my forced break.

Sizzler – well, it´s been a “crawl under the net if you´re a pussy” or “take the sizzler lane and crawl under electricity”. To be fair, I took the pussy lane, simply because I couldn´t estimate how strong the sizzler was and after my health issues, I wasn´t keen on more problems…next time: sizzler lane!

Vertical monkey – Hated it with a passion, and didn´t climb up all the way because thw ooden breams were moving and I had the feeling it was too high and felt too instable to so the last bream…i don´t care what others thought, I come first.

Window Wall – When I ran towards this wall of wood with window holes in it, I frst thought “oh shit I am alone, do I go around” but it was so easy, a jump, one proper positioning of my foot on the wood and it was done. To be fair, I was really proud of myself even though it´s not been the biggest obstacle.

Horizon climber – I so looked forward to it – and then I was stood there and even had problems to grab the rope because I am so short. So first had to climb up which cost quite some energy and then got till the middle of the distance where I had, from out of nowhere, a massive cramp in my leg and had to let loose of the rope…I am still frustrated about it but really loved it nevertheless!

Buddy Carry again – uncreative, yes, I know, especially since I again didn´t have anyone to carry, nor someone to carry me…it felt like they had to fill the distance but no idea with what…

Marine Table – and another obstacle that we had AGAIN. And this time, noone was around. So yep, I would´ve tried it on my own if I had been fully fit, but nope, no chance this time. And that just pissed me off.

Natural Obstacle – made me feel like a horse, and was funny and nothing too challenging, so good for just calming down a bit and then get going again afterwards.

Cross over/under – cute and nothing special, easy, but I especially liked the “cross over” part, such things always are something for my taste!

Spinning monkey – I was pissed as I really wanted to give it a try, but I couldn´t even reach the spinning wheels – why did they not simply make the little hill for the start higher? Not everyone is 175cm or taller for fuck´s sake!

Anaconda trails – if I remember correctly, it was simply a water area you were able to run/walk through, not too deep, you didn´t have to swim – all ood and easy. Oh and it´s been one of those obstacles that usually are for horses 😉

Net jump – I really wanted to try, but I couldn´t get anywhere to grab the first part of the next to swing to the next one – why not hang it even higher so noone can grab it?

Power Tower – aka a smaller version of the Pyramid scheme from Tough Mudder. And as I had noone around anyways and needed to watch my health, I took the easy way out and simply just passed by. It somehow looked so semi-professional to me, too…

Load Carry – Carrying 20kg of sand sack on the shoulders was really easy, I thought it would be feeling heavier but I could have ran far longer carrying those!

Pipe Runner – I ditched it. Because I felt I didn´t have the power for it anymore and didn´t want to risk another injury. One time with the paramedics clearly has been enough for the day!

So much about the obstacles – after the finish, you got your shirt and a beer, and I happily declined the beer. Still not a fan of it, but at least it´d have been alcohol free (right Tough Mudder, you only had normal beer *cough*).

I grabbed my stuff and rushed to the showers that kinda drowned in mud already – no surprise, but at least more and better showers than at tough mudder. And also less cold somehow, or I was frozen already before so anything would´ve felt warm 😉


So, now it´s time for a CONCLUSION: The obstacles were nothing too exciting and rather less well made than at Tough Mudder (quite frankly, many felt like not so great copies of the Tough Mudder ones), there was less team spirit amongst everyone included BUT it was great suroundings wise- well organized, great parking, better showers /cloakroom/changing rooms and …alcohol free beer. So, what would I conclude? To be honest, I am not really sure. I might see things too negatove because of my accident, but I think next time I´d rather only do the small round (6km) where I´d need less help from others unless I am going with a team.

Oh and: I am so curious to see photos of myself…I hope there is gonna be cool shots (they´re also included in the price!)

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1. FC Köln international – Wenn Fans zu Konkurrenten werden

Ich kann mich daran erinnern, wie ich als kleines Kind zum Fußball und zum FC Köln gekommen bin. Das war vor mehr als 20 Jahren, und ich habe viele Jahre lang Abstiege beweint, und Aufstiege gefeiert, als wären sie der Gewinn einer Meisterschaft. Ich war Heimspiel-Dauerkartenbesitzer, bin mit meiner Mutter auswärts gefahren – im Auto, im Fanbus zwischen meist betrunkenen (aber listigen) anderen Fans. Erzgebirge Aue, Fürth, kleinere und kleinere Stadien – immer mit dabei, mit Leidenschaft. Und einem Traum: einmal nicht um den Abstieg kämpfen, einmal vorne mit dabei sein.

Ich habe den Platz gestürmt bei Aufstiegen, habe Gras vom Stadion mit einem verdammten Schlüssel ausgegraben und zuhause liebevoll angepflanzt. Habe mir die Seele aus dem Leib gesungen, mir Erkältungen und Grippen eingefangen wenn ich mal wieder wo stand, wo es kein Dach gab und es regnete, hagelte, schneite – oder alles abwechselnd. Und so standen WIR zusammen – wir feierten zusammen, wir weinten zusammen. Es gab ein “wir”. Weil man durch diese ganze Scheiße zusammen gegangen war – wir, die Fans. Eine große Familie, die mit stolzgeschwellter Brust überall “einmarschiert” ist, wo wir gespielt haben. Wir waren eins.

Und dann kamen die News dieses Jahr: wir spielen international. Der 1. FC Köln spielt nach so verdammt langer Zeit endlich wieder international. Viele der Fans, wie ich, haben sowas in ihrer “Fan-Laufbahn” nie zuvor erlebt, kennen nur Geschichten und Videos. Wie wenn man über Kriege spricht, wo es Augenzeugenberichte gibt. So hat es sich immer angefühlt, und dann war der Moment auf einmal da. Surreal, es konnte nicht sein. Ein Traum, der wahr wurde – das dachte ich mir, naiv wie ich war. Ich freute mich auf eine wahnsinnig geile Zeit, auf ein Fan-Gefühl, stärker als je zuvor, purer Wahnsinn eben – im positivsten Sinne möglich.

Wahnsinn wurde es auch – wir haben noch kein Spiel gespielt, und ich muss sagen, ich hatte Momente, wo ich mir gewünscht habe, dass es nie soweit gekommen wäre, das mit dem international Spielen. Das Fanprojekt kündigte an, dass man sich anmelden müsse, wenn man ein Auswärts- oder Heimspielticket haben wolle – und dass man dann in den Lostopf käme. Man musste also sein Glück in die Hände von der Technik legen, und das stieß schon einigen vor der Auslosung richtig auf.

Ich habe – vornweg – Glück gehabt, wie ich heute erfahren habe. Ich bin “zuhause” dabei. Aber selbst wenn ich es nicht wäre: ich kann nicht verstehen, wie man sich so aufführen kann, wie es viele zur Zeit tun. “Ich bin besser als du”, “Ich bin länger dabei, bin mehr km gefahren, bin…” – jeder will sich beweisen, seinen Mann stehen. Und aufzeigen, wieso es doch so ungerecht ist, dass man kein Ticket abbekommen hat.  Wieso sollte man sich also für andere freuen, wenn man Neid zeigen kann? Klar, es ist frustrierend – ich war auch wütend und frustriert als ich erfahren habe, dass es nichts mit nach London fliegen wird für das Spiel gegen Arsenal. Aber habe ich gesagt, dass ich es eher verdient hätte als jemand anderes? Nein.

Und all dieses “macht es doch wie bei anderen Spielen – wer zuerst online ist und ein Ticket bestellt, hat Glück” – ja Leute, so einen Server muss das Fanprojekt erst mal hinter den Shop schalten, und wer würde als erstes laut schreien, wenn das nicht hinhaut? genau, die die immer was zu motzen haben weil es ja unfair wäre, wenn der Server gerade dann abrauscht und sie kein Ticket bekommen hätten.

Leute Leute Leute, seht es sportlich. Schaut auf FB etc etc ob jemand zu einem fairen Preis was verkauft – aber hört auf, es allen anderen mies zu machen. Weil wir es ja nicht verdient hätten, ein Ticket zu haben. Geht gar nicht.

Ich war scheiße naiv als ich alles rosa-rot gesehen habe. Nichts mit einer großen Familie. Am Ende ist sich halt doch jeder selbst am nähsten.

Noch einmal werde ich das nicht mitmachen, das verdirbt einem jeglichen Spaß. Aber hey, vllt. isses ja eh erst wieder in 20+ Jahren der Fall, wer weiß das schon…

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Muddy Angel Run – Hamburg – 02/09/2017


Well, back when I booked my ticket for this women´s only mud and obstacle run (which is held in order to support the fight against breast cancer and make aware of breast checks), I had the plan that this is going to be my first run of this kind. Well, as you might know, I´ve already done my Tough Mudder Half in summer, so this run…well, it was a nice run.

Thought I gotta say the fact it´s been women only, kinda was a downside for me – it´s been, before the run, all about selfies, looking cute, some even put on an extra layer of make up and…I just felt wrong somehow. I was there for the run, in the sense of running, getting the obstacles beat and that´s it.

Good thing was, that was in the first starting group right at 10am, so it´s not been busy when checking in and grabbing my startong number and changing clothes. Downside was though, that I had been there as early as indicated in the email, but then had like 1,5h until my run actually started. And at that time of the day it was not really warm, so I was curled up in my winter jacket until the very last moment possible. The bag drop off was pretty easy, as I was one of the first ones – little happening everywhere, much space in the changing area aswell…

The warm up was, I am teribly sorry to say – hilarious. And I am happy that I warmed up my body a bit myself already before this warmup, because otherwise my muscles would´ve still been really cold. And especially with a race that does not target at people that are really sporty and know how to warm up, it might´ve been good to kinda make this a bit better.

Anyways, my start was a bit too quick and my body hated me for it, especially since my body does not wake up properly before 10am on a weekend day and my run started at 10am straight. So yeah, my heart rate was going wild during the run, and I wasn´t feeling too fit but I had fun anyways.

To be honest, in this perspective, I was happy the obstacles were cute and adorable and more aimed at fun than at anything else. Because my body could have not coped with anything extreme or so. Though the loads of cold water really were terrible and made my circulation struggle. Not really my cup of tea, never has been, never will be.

Anyways, finished the run and was happy when it was done, because I also was done 😉 But happy as fck…By the way – there will most likely be some action shots later on, so stay tuned for those 😉 If you want to see a shot of me – check out photo 66 on Sportograf.com!

The after math – we got a fitness drink, a bar and an alcohol beer if we wanted to – couldn´t be any better, worked well. What I disliked was that dropping off and picking up you bags was the same queue so I was stood there dripping wet longing for my clothing….and fearing my last obstacle was still to come: the showers. But even those were okay, still cold but after all the cold water it was not really shocking me anymore 😉

Conclusion? A nice fun run I will surely do again, but nothing that really challenges me!

Posted in Germany/Deutschland, sports | Leave a comment

Catching up with you!



It´s been quite a while since I have been writing about m daily life the last time – in between I shared some other insights, but – let´s put it this way: I´ve been so busy and worn out in the evenings, that I had a hard time to find any words for my life.

Today I try to catch up a bit and try to have you get an insight into my life again.



So, middle of August I started my new job as a junior project manager in a digital company, well, agency to be precise. I´ve been welcomed warmly, and I feel really well there – great colleagues who are all so willing to get me all integrated, included and that I have all the information I need. And I do not take that for granted, it just makes me really happy. I really enjoyed that I got flowers as a present on my first day, though I am not a too big fan of “dead flowers”. A pot with a sunflower would be something I´d be enjoying more, but the gesture is what counts.

There is loads of wok to be done, loads of workflows I need to get to know, and need to understand – especially the latter is a problem, as I have never been working in an agency and many workflows seem just odd. But that´s things that need time, but being imaptient as I am, I struggle with that 😉  In October I will be going to be in Cologne for a week to get to know my colleagues from Cologne and also the colleagues from customer side, as I only know their names and photos and voices (from phone conference times) and it´s so important to get a personal work relationship to work together the best possible. So I am really looking forward to this!



Then just 1,5 weeks after my fresh start in the job, I had my start into my studies – I am now a student for a Master´s degree in Entrepreneurship and Business Competence. And to be honest, the first assignments I already did for my personal development plans, and am working on the things for my first real course in Strategic Management. And to be honest, those are tougher than I expected, so it´s really gonna be a tad stressful until I get used to it and have a personal time plan.

At the moment I am really clueless how I am supposed to manage this – all I know is that I hve no ambitions other than passing courses (a good horse just jumps as high as needed) and finishing my studies withing 3 years in the best case. Nothing else. At east I already got my first course accredited, 5 credits for my project management course aced without doing the course and instead just explaining what I´ve been working for/with and which courses I did and which certificates I have. But still, I like such stuff xD



Then there is sports – I´ve been working out and going for runs quite a bit – since I started my new job I struggle to get back into proper working out phases, but I hope it´s soon gonna improve because I really need that.

I decided on signing up for my very first half marathon next year – crazy idea, but as I need to train for nearly the same distance for my full Tough Mudder run, I decided tahat I could also go for that. And for my training (running) I got a new GPS and pulse supporting watch so I can make the best out of it and train focussed. Let´s see if I make it, right now I am – like with everything at the moment – rather soubtful. Simply because I have no idea if I have the will power to really work off my ass for it…thank God I have loads of time still.

Yesterday I did the Muddy Angel run, 5km of fun obstacles, and it was nice despite the early starting time. But for that, there will be another blog post where I will go more into detail!



Other things – I really tried to get back to sewing more, once I managed to get work, sports, studies and household into my week and figure that I have some more time to really relax. Same goes for playing cello or another instrument (yough yough yes I do have plans). Also I´ve been to the medieval market here in Hamburg again to enjoy the atmosphere and enjoy two Versengold shows that made me feel so good and free. I love the feeling their music gives me!

And besides all of this…hmm. yeah. The tickets for the europe league for FC Köln are literally being raffled – you sign up to take part in the raffle and then get to know if you won. A ticket again Arsenal London? Nope. The home match tickets will be raffled the next days, and I pray I will get one – I´ve been waited for them to play internationally for all my life and now this all becomes a hassle and a source of frustarion rather than excitement…so annoying.

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Cooking: Pappardelle with tenderloin tips in pepper-creme-sauce

Cooking book: Lust auf Kochen: Kreative Rezepte für jeden Tag
Publisher: Kochhaus

Estimated time:  20 min
Actual time:  45 min

Difficulty: 3/10
Amount: For 2 people
Price per person: ~10€

To be honest, when we purchased the ingredients for this cooking session, we kind swallowed hard – because already the meat cost us 10€ for like 250 gramms. Totally expensive but the taste was really nice, made up for the price clearly.

So, preparing this meal was actually easy – throw the pasta into the water, cut the meat and throw it into the pan with the spicy stuff, make the sauce – quick and easy, especially even easier once you know which steps to do and when and everything.

And even though it looks like a light dish, I was really full afterwards as I am not used to normal pasta anymore. Next time it will be less pasta for me, and more spicy additions as the sauce was tasty but was lcking the wow-effect (it´s not easy to explain but I think the spices were the reason).

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