Hoop Playtime (13.06.2017)

New week, new play time, new time for torture! To be honest, when I hopped onto the bus to Aerial Dance Center, I couldn´t have been any less motivated to even go there, to even leave the apartment. I felt weak, tired, and not up for being around humans but forced myself because I still really had to get to practice and work my ass off.

And that´s also what I did – my warm up was probably the last good that I have ever done, simply because it´s this necessary evil for me in my head – I need to do it before the actual fun can start, and I really have a hard time to pull through my 15min of warming up routine. Well, routine is overrated – my warming up something randomly put together as my brain functions as a black hole.

So let´s start with writing about the easy stuff – I like to hang around and the back roll was already easy last time, but I was not really happy about my balancing and leg position yet – and today I tried to feel myself more into it, and look at the difference below – I was surprised as well, because it felt like I didn´t change much at all. and I feel it now looks much better though it´s a tad more heavy on the body.

Then continued with my fully hatred position where I always struggled and last time failed to take off my right arm as I should be doing it for the choreography (you can do without, but then you look even more like a noob than you already do anyways, and I am not really keen on THAT).  And after how it felt zillions of tries, bruises, scrapped off skin, swearing, frustration – it worked twice, and this is the capture of when it finally worked – I mean, the normal position was no problem today, but…it´s just the daily shape and nothing to rely on unfortunately.  Plus, my left arm shows some strained-symptoms again, like back in the days. And that´s really odd because it comes up just since I started practicing this one position again…I don´t get it.

After something tough comes something easy, I´ve been not really struggling with two positions below at all, as they´ve pretty similar to what I´ve don already before and don´t need that much flexibility or anything, and they look good – unless you´re a fatty like me, then the bird looks like it´s been overfed xD I can laugh about myself and that´s pretty important, especially because not everything always works and looks well on the first try, and the angle from below from the floor is also not the best…ah well, you gotta cope ^^

Splits! It´s all about spreading your legs (no, not in a dirty and sexual way, dare you!) – and I am happy to see how much the split-try looks better already compared to last time. It´s been a spositive surprise for once, and I enjoy such surprises so much…and still, those two positions I enjoy a lot, they make you look so flexible and sexy even though you mostly just hang there. Okay okay, no, that´s exaggerated, because you do need strength in your body all the time no matter how relaxed it looks, but it´s less bad than other positions and moves.

And last but not least – easy stuff that is more a repetition from what I knew already before and still need for this chorography, so it´s more of a warm-up and cool-down move stuff even though you do need indeed some flexibility. In the early days that´s been making trouble but now it´s become one of the most confident ones that I am actually doing…funny how things can change. Anyways, peace out!


Hoop Playtime (08.06.2017)

Wow, it´s been the first playtime in a while, and it felt weird at the start because I´ve become so used to actually having a certain warm-up routine dictated by my teacher without the need of using your own brain. And there I was, needing my own brain – sounds hilarious, but makes a difference and I know I still do not get anywhere near the warmed-up level for the playtimes as I am when in class. So I warmed up, and then had a look at what was done during the last class because I really needed to catch up to be up to date with all the moves and positions and annoying transitions.

And what I spotted didn´t make me that happy to say the least, but no can do – my totally hated position which at least worked a bit better now (seen above on the right). But the problem was: it was an addition where you had to let loose of the hoop with one hand. And that simply did not work no matter how much I tried. Maybe I need to shift my bodyweight even more, let´s see how it´ll go during my next playtime and training session. It just needs tons of repeating and ignoring the pain ^^

The left move on the photo is pretty easy, even stough it feels rather unstable up there – but you just hang yourself in there with the arms (never mind the bruises on the upper arms) and then try to push away the hoop as much as possible so you can get into a split (or sort of). That move never made any troubles for me, as I enjoy everything that sort of means you go into such a split – even though I am far away from actual splits, but anyways.

And here you see above two fully hated positions, on the left it´s a variation of The Fish from what I know – and the right one, I have no idea, you just drop your left leg and then try to get it up there. Whilst the fish still works okish, whenever I remove the left leg I slip and slip and slip and have a terrible time to get back into the hoop again and I have yet to figure out what I am actually doing wrong there, because I am more than clueless. Maybe I should try without socks or so, but I am not sure if that will not maybe turn out really painful…It possibly looks cool at some point, but right now it rather looks like a whale clinging to the hoop…and feels like it, too.

Oh and have I mentioned we´re doing some kind of a roll again? Well I have no idea if you should be calling it a roll or anything, but I was surprised how well it´s been doing with this one even though that everything going into the roll-direction, especially backwards, is kinda scary for me now that I am a scared and worrying grown-up. But have a look at the video below:

Hoop Lesson 4 (24.05.2017)

The air inside the room was…well you could´ve cut it into slices. During the warm up I already sweated like an idiot, but the armup felt good, even though my sense of balance really seemed off track today for whatever unknown reasons. It got better, but something was not quite going well, at least the flexibility was okay again even though I am not training it anymore currently.

We were repeating the figures and also with the counts instead of with the music, and it was all about repeating and reapeating and it really was tiring but was worth it. Some positions finally start feeling more natural and less stressful, yet the splits away when holding the fabrics above the hoop kinda ended with having scrapped off my skin on my hands in big style when I had slippery sweaty hands. And fuck that hurt, I really cannot do it like this, that´s for sure. Or maybe I am doing something wrong ith the grip and how I position my hands on the fabrics, but…no clue yet. Need to work on that a lot.

New element today was “The Bird” – actually not really hard, unless you have totally stiff muscles in shoulder and upper back and then need to tense these muscles…that kinda killed my back, and I had a blockade in my upper back again. Great success, even though the position really was not hard at all to do, pretty simple, only thing I need to watch is that I keep my chin up and my toes pointed as usual.

Then we also added another transition back to siting, which was about balancing a bit, pulling yourself up and going into back into the seat. Sounds easy, looked easy when my teacher did it – when I do it, it looks like a marionette trying to bend body parts that it cannot bend whilst desperately trying to look elegant. Nope, not my kind of stuff…

Overall? Tiring and painful lesson due to my back, but otherwise it went comparably well…I finally seem to be getting back into it again mind and body wise.

Hoop Lesson 7 (17.02.17) & Playtime (22.02.2017)

The lesson – it went rather well, except for that one move that is the last one in the hoop as mentioned in the last blog post about my hoop time. And then we also did some final floorwork, which is rather easy looking at all the things that we´ve done in the hoop before.

But I still feel like an elephant doing the floorwork, it just doesn´t look elegant no matter how hard I try. I just feel fat. It is terrible how a few seconds of floorwork can totally destroy the feel that I had about the choreography. I. Hate. Floorwork.

And also we started repeating to really hit the change points and be in time which I really struggle with because the music is just sounding all the same and it is hard to really hear where to change and go into the next position. In the last lesson we will be practicing this over and over again. My poor nerves.

The playtime…I went there with the slightest hope of things maybe going well and boosting my ego a tiny little bit. But I didn´t have high hopes and therefore was quite surprised when things were going really well.

The roll forward and getting back up again afterwards has now a 100% chance to be working even though it is not a 100% how it should be like, but I am getting up again and don´t look like a strandled whale anymore. I am totally fine with this, I really dropped perfectionism there. Simply because I dunnot have time for perfectionism now anymore.

The thing from last week´s lesson now also improved LOADS, by now it has a 90% chance of working, which is such a huge improvement which I really had not imagined at all. No idea why it improved so much all of a sudden, it just worked most of the times now. Maybe because I just dropped the pressure, lord know. I don´t really care, as long as it works 😉

So yeah, it went well except for hitting my ankle against the hoop really hard and well, the hoop is solid. nothing more to say about this…

Hoop Lesson 6 (10.02.17) & Playtime (14.02.2017)

LESSON The song is coming to an end, my teacher said. At least something, as we just learned the very last move in the hoop since afterwards and for the rest of the song there is gonna be floorwork only left (not sure if that makes it any easier or not, I kinda dread floorwork anyways). I always look like an elephant trying to look delicate when I am doing floorwork. Nothing for me, really.

So the repetitions of what we already did went rather well, the usual struggles with the roll forward and afterwards getting back up again as I somehow cannot swing enough to get back up fully. And I have no idea what I am doing wrong or should be doing differently in order to really succees. This is also partially the case because my hoop tends to be too low and then I smack my foot onto the floor which does not make it any easier to be saying the least.

So yeah, that last move or rather position…I simply couldn´t get it working, it feels for me as if the worst move comes at the end of the choreography when I am not even having any power left anymore to really put strength into my muscles. Oh and, THIS is the position.

PLAYTIME I had actually planned on taking some shots of that latest hate move aka swining up after the roll forward as well as some shots of the linked position that I struggled with, but as both were not exactly working out as I had wanted them to, I ditched the plan. I didn´t feel like sharing halfway working poses, though it´s better than nothing.

Anyways, the roll forwards is working rather smoothly now, the fear is pretty much done, the stretching after the roll works fine and – yes, improvement – I now managed to have a 50/50 change to swing enough to get back onto the hoop again. Mostly look rather retarded and not smooth and elegant at all, but at least I get up, and that´s my main goal for now. But being clear, this 50/50 chance doesn´t exactly qualify me for being a part of the performance night unfortunately.

The linked position…well. from 1 out of 7 tries in the lesson I scoped up to it working somewhat in 2 out of 7 cases. And this is what worries and pisses me off a lot at the very same time. I am ambitions, and I cannot bring any self-patience along in such cases. I am frustrated, especially because I have no idea what I am doing wrong or what keeps me from getting it working. And that is the damned very last position in the hoop – it´s like stumbling and falling on a meter before the finish line…

Hoop Lesson 5 (03.02.17) & Playtime (09.02.2017)

The lesson was…well, let´s be honest, I was frustrated. And still am. Simply because I felt so secure and I thought I was going strong, my ego was doing good. Until it came to this damned roll forward that we learned at the end of that lesson and my brain just blocked. Whilst during my childhood I was always enoying any kinds of rolls, no matter if forward or backward, high up or on the floor…and now I am dying when I gotta do this 1.5m up from the floor. Again there was this fear of my arms not being able to hold me, the fear or of falling right onto my damned face. I was full body stiff, like I had a stick stuck up my ass. I think I´ve never been that close to crying during a lesson because I was so full of hate for myself. Sometimes I end up overly motivated, and my perfectionism is just standing in my way again. Most of the others in the course managed to do it seemingly without problem…didn´t make it any better.

Alrighty, at the playtime I had just one goal – to minimize my fear of the move that you can see on the video below – yes, I am recording myself to spot mistakes, like I figured I tend to bend both knees and make it therefore even harder than it would be if I did it correctly like I nearly do in that video. I struggle with sliding my hands down enough during the move, and thuse stretching and bending my back backwards like in the end of that video is really hard. I somehow need to fix this problem, yet I am not having the slightest idea how, because sliding in the hoop with tape around it is impossible. You might say I shoudl just take one without tape then, right? Easy said. But thanks to my hands getting sweaty really fast, I struggle with all other figures then because I lose grip pretty quickly. So I need to adapt and somehow make it work. Gotta get creative there.

Hoop Lesson 4 (27.01.17) & Playtime (31.01.2017)

Lesson 4 already, means half of the course is already done and it feels like so little time and so few lessons and so much choreography left. Well, at least I think there is much still coming, because the song is really not that short. Or seems at least terribly long. And I still haven´t really become friends with the song itself, even though the choreography so far is beautiful and matches the music. I am always happy when it is over, because that music is just so terribly boring.

I was happy when I heard that I seemingly made progress, so the last playtime really paid off at last. My flexibility was good, and the newly added elements were also working rather well. At first when doing a new trick, I was just sitting in my hoop
and was like “uhm, let me think, what about NO?” – because it looked really instable and surely it ain´t too stable. Nor really easy, but also far less scary than it might look to others and to oneself when seeing it at first. Practice is the key to success, and sometimes my fear or falling is still standing in my way. It gets less every time, and I learned to trust my hands again, but still.

And in combination with the music I am still not really going hand in hand, because I am lacking recognizable parts in music or lyrics to remember when doing the choreography and timing the moves and positions.

Playtime – means repetition time, fighting time, perfection time or just freeing the mind and I gotta admit that it went rather well, though I always tend to forget certain parts of the chorography – probably because I hate this one figure, whilst the rest just works really fine. More or less. As I am not really into doing spagat, I need to practice this more so that it works better when we gotta do something similar in the hoop because right now it looks rather retarded still. Annoys me loads, to be honest. But no can do. Work hard or go home, and I prefer working hard, even though my hands would prefer going home more and more. More blisters, more peeling off skin…but I enjoy every second of the course until now, pretty nie ego boosts at time.

Hoop Lesson 2 (13.01.17) & Lesson 3 (20.01.17) & Play Time (24.01.17)

Well, there is not much to say about Lesson 2 from Friday 13th (13.01.2017), simply because I had felt stomach sick for the whole night and day already- but still I attended. After the warm up and the first repetition of the Delilah move my stomach had decided that it clearly does not want me to continue anymore, I felt like throwing up or fainting, or both at the same time so I went home to recover. Kinda sucked because I missed out on quite some parts of the choreography, but health comes first as I need my body for a tad longer still.

Then in Lesson 3 (20.01.2017) I had quite some things to catch up with and to be honest, I was really struggling with the speed they were going through this. Sometimes my brain is simply slow with getting how to things, especially if it is after a long day of learning and sitting still. But once I got it, it went rather smooth – my bruises all over my body are telling a different story, but no can do 😉 What I really struggle with is stuff where I need to be head upside down, because of  all the stress I have I tend to be feel a tad dizzy, and that really doesn´t make it any better, and I have to have my eyes open…
The playtime (24.01.2017) then went really well, I practiced not only what I need for the choreography but put an emphasis on repeating those moves also for the side that is not needed in the chorography to ensure I will not develop a hyper strong side and a terribly weak one as it happened to me when I still did pole dancing. I enjoyed the playtime, being able to keep on repeating things over and over and trying new ways to get those working – the devil´s in the details, and during the lessons at times I feel like we´re simply rushing through. I am a person loving technique, and the playtime clearly does give me the time for living that attitude a bit more 😉

Hoop Playtime (11.01.2017)

You remember how frustrated I was after the delilah didn´t work as I was seemingly too afraid that my hand wouldn´t be able to hold me and my back and full body was seemingly not flexible enough.

So during the past days I worked on my flexibility every evening for 20-30 minutes. It was not much but even during these exercises that I did, I saw some improvements, yet I was still afraid to try this move.

So I warmed up and everything, and somehow I never know when I warmed up my hands and wrists enough – I feel it with every other muscle when it is all fine to get into action, just not there – and this is a damn essential part actually.

I started with repreating bit with the floorwork that was in the choreography but then turned to the delilah…and I put a thin yoga mat under the hoop, more as a mental “you´re gonna be okay even if you´d fall”, which is bullshit because of it being so think, but it´s all about tricking the mind. And it worked.

It all worked out as you can see, and I kept on repeating, repeating and repeating for like 9 times, and it got easier and I got more of a safety feeling the more I did it. Only thing that really looks still retarded and I need to work on is ho I lgrab my left foot with my right hand. That still is a bit tricky, but the stretching afterwards worked pretty well already.

It felt good to see this little success for me, and so important to keep motivated to work also at home on my flexibility and strength because if you see that the work pays off, then you simply keep going 😉

My training was ended in a rather funny way, because during my last delilah I noticed, when looking into the mirror that my nose was bleeding…looked hilarious, wish I´d have a photo of this xD

Hoop Lesson 1 (06.01.17)

So it all started now, and I started the course after having done just one testing lesson quite a while ago. And after having done proper workouts since my dismissal in September – and that is quite a while and clearly showed during the first lesson.

And that showed already during the warm up, I felt like this was a strength workout lasting forever and not just the warm up phase of the whole lesson.

And the lesson then started with a disappointment as they had exchanged the song for our choreography to a song that makes me simply depressed and want to curl up and hide in bed rather than do anything artistical.

But judge yourself, as taste differs: Nicole Dollanganger – “Chapel”

The choreography starts with some slow floor work which won´t really be much of a problem for now – or at least clearly not gonna be my main problem.

We started then on the hoop with a delilah mount and a delilah – the first one worked okish except the fact of looking stupid whilst getting there, but the second one…I simply couldn´t grab my leg somehow. I don´t know if I was simply too scared that my left hand might not hold me and I would crash, or that my back is simply a mess…no idea, but I am working on my flexibility at home now…