Photos: Heidevolk // Apocalyptica // Thundermother

HEIDEVOLK (Hamburg Metal  Dayz)More:
https://carinaullmannphotography1.wordpress.com/2016/10/20/heidevolk-hamburg-metal-dayz-hamburg-23-09-2016/



APOCALYPTICA (Nancy on the Rocks)

More:
https://carinaullmannphotography1.wordpress.com/2016/11/19/apocalyptica-nancy-on-the-rocks-nancy-04-11-2016/



THUNDERMOTHER (Nancy on the Rocks)
More:
https://carinaullmannphotography1.wordpress.com/2016/11/20/thundermother-nancy-on-the-rocks-nancy-04-11-2016/

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Hello Brussels and Ancienne Belgique, it´s been nice to see you again…

Paavo and me, wearing his glasses

…even though I felt pretty lost around the venue in Brussels where I went for Apocalyptica (24/10/2015), because seemingly a lot changed during the many past years where I had not been there. But let´s start where it should be started – with the start of my trip in Cologne.

It was yet another early morning, because at around 8.40am my Thalys left to Brussels – and I realized I had booked myself a 1st class seat, even though I was really sure that I had not booked it. But hey, free drink and a nice sweet snack, comfy seats and much space for the legs. I clearly could get used to this.

Then I had the not so smart idea to walk to the hostel that I had booked – but to be fair, stupid me. I should have taken the tram as I had printed the route with google maps for this one. But no, I had to pimp up my Weight Watchers activities score. So I walked. And walked. Got lost. Got lost again. Tested my French. Found my way and arrived at the hostel fully sweaty. Just to realize that I had forgotten to have a look at the earliest possible check-in time. It was 3pm, and that´s just not matching my plans. So I dropped off my luggage in the luggage room and then charged my phone and went to meet my friends at the venue, had a drink and then did some 2-3h of walking around in Brussels and finally seeing things. It clearly had not been the classical sightseeing, but it was enough for that day. I need to say – and I am sorry if anyone feels insulted by this – the center smells like piss. everywhere. Again and again. Around every corner. It is awful, and clearly makes me feel stomach sick.

Then I went to check in, brush teeth, brush up my look to actually start looking like a human being again – but hey, singer Franky had already seen me in my “I am totally exhausted and look like shit”-state whilst sightseeing, nothing to lose anymore. BUt still, looking good is essential – to show off the girl inside of me.

We then went to eat at the venue´s restaurant (Venue = AB = Ancienne Belgique) – not only was the food really good as you can see, but also there was a separate entrance for those people having eaten there. But only for tickets that you bought online – two of my friends had the Apocalyptica fan tickets and had to go and queue outside again. But you know what, saving spots is the least thing you can do in such a situation. And that´s what we did. And we all ended up in the front row – best spot. no doubts.

The show was great again, I really enjoyed it and actually was surprised how well balanced the sound was even in the first row. Being honest – seeing support band Tracer for the fourth time this tour was too much, it was really hard for me to get into the music again, even though I really tried. They played well again and I still enjoy their music, but it was too much.

Apocalyptica nevertheless – it never gets old. Okay, shame on me, it does – it was different this time, because I knew it was the last time for quite a few months. I was headbanging (and afterwards didn´t feel one of my fingers anymore due to my neck problems messing with my nerves), singing along, enjoying it with closed eyes. There are songs that I always enjoy, and especially “Hope Vol. 2” is a song that at first cracked me, but now is giving me so much comfort – I would´ve never believed this would happen if anyone would´ve told me. And still, I am and will stay a big support of Franky being with the band – he is not only a great singer and matches perfect with the band, but also a really cool guy – no doubts. And I really hope that all of the band´s fans will finally understand it, as his voices touches me so much and I hope it does the same for everyone else. I know it probably isn´t but…it will happen, you simply cannot stay away from this, you just need to open up to all of this beauty.

Franky and me

After the show I managed to forget to actually get me a tourshirt – well fine, 25€ for my savings, I approve that. I plan to save as much money as possible during the next months, as I have not planned any trips or whatsoever until…I don´t even know when. I´ve been waiting for the guys, and it´s been worth it, but in the end I was cold and really happy when I was back at the hostel to take a quick shower and then drop into bed. With a smile on my face.

A trip down memory lane and a “hole in my ass”

Backdrop // Borrowed with permission

It still fascinates me that I am all back into Apocalyptica and am travelling around for them – so yeah, another day, another show and another trip for me it was.

Apocalyptica were playing in Cologne on 21st of October and having grown up there, it was a natural thing to go there – for the show but also for seeing my family again.

(First off – check the setlist and you will know why I chose that title for the blog entry…)

Borrowed with permission

So it was Hamburg, 8am, when I hopped onto the train to Hannover where I had to do quite some running to get my connection train – at least that one had also been delayed so I was still arriving in Cologne on time.

My dad picked me up and at my former home I still had some time to plan my days and have a quick bite before I rushed to the venue (my dad drove me, again – so luckily no public transport for me). And surprise – opposite to what I expected, I´ve been just the second fan that had been showing up in front of the empty venue. I felt pretty stupid to be fair, because I dislike standing there like an idiot or/and a groupie or whatsoever. I am not, I am not even someone anymore I´d call a “hardcore fan” anymore. I am someone who appreciates their music and has a connection to them, and that´s why I am doing all this madness (yep, it is madness in other people´s eyes, and that´s totally fine for me as not everyone needs to understand all of my actions).

And this time it was pretty good to be there early – singer Franky had been doing

Borrowed with permission

sightseeing all day and nearly walked past the venue without realizing it´s the venue. It is soemthing I truly appreciate – someone who takes time to really go and see things. If you wanna see the stuff he photographs on those trips – go and check out his Instagram page! he´s got an eye for amazing stuff, details and angles and moods. I love the photos!

Anyways, it was cool meeting him pre-show, and before the fans slowly started coming to the venue. Still surprised how long it actually took until it got more crowded, I am used to the old days when everyone was eagerly queuing for hours (which I always disliked). I also met a long-time friend finally again – and it was kinda cool to be attending a show of this band together again, after we had met back then thanks to a show of Apocalyptica. And it was frontrow, and right where I wanted to be once more to have fun, to laugh, smile, and this time to not shed a tear.

I was surprised how things in my life changed and how I seemingly feel so much better

Borrowed with permission

now, because songs that usually broke me and made me cry did not make me cry but made me just enjoy and sing along. One of those examples is “Hope Vol. 2” – a song that brings back sad memories, and killed me in Hamburg and Bielefeld. This time I felt like it was different – I felt like it was comforting me, like this song was “licking the wounds from the past” instead of ripping them open again. And this is something I never thought to happen and also not that fast. Maybe it is because Franky sings it and has made it his very own song, and that his voice just comforts me. I don´t know, sometimes things do not need words – cannot be put in words. it just is the way it is, and it´s fine that way, too. I cannot believe how much I´ve fallen in love with Franky´s voice and him being in Apocalyptica and at the same time I so fear he will be around just for this “album cycle” – and that´s probably the biggest compliment I could ever give a singer that is with Apocalyptica.

I really enjoyed the show once again, yet I still don´t like all the stuff that is projected on the backdrop – my brain explodes, too much going on, and I cannot really enjoy that. Sure, closing eyes is a good way how to escape from all this, and it´s what I´ve been doing, but in the end I wanna watch the show and not just listen to it.

At the end of the show, Paavo handed me his setlist – I haven´t had one for ages, it´s been years. And at the evry same time as stating that, I also gotta state that there´s been probably fans out there that would´ve loved to ahve it even more than me. I am realistic, material things will never be able to come close to the experiences, and all this, that a show and everything gives me.

After show I waited for the band with my mum (she and my stepdad had also been at the show) and my friends – but in the end and thanks to an asshole security we were chased off the venue grounds and couldn´t get anywhere near the exit and the bus so we just left. This security was probably the most frustrated human being on earth, looking at how desperately he was using his “power”. nearly a reason to feel sorry for this guy – but just nearly.

Do you remember me? the kid I used to be?

The amazing girls I met at the show

Do you remember me?
The kid I used to be?
Not the same as I used to be!
Oh, do you remember me?
[Apocalyptica – “I´m not Jesus”]

This song quote kind of shows what connects the band and me – they´ve seen me grow up over the past 10 years. And it´s a songline that makes me grin because of this, and I know I am not alone with this.

Where FlixBus dropped me off

The Bielefeld show (October 3rd) – man, what a stressful trip. I had gotten up early to catch my Flixbus bus from main station in the late morning, but well…that never happened, because the bus engine blew up even before it reached Hamburg, so everyone had to be rebooked onto a later bus, but fun fact: that later bus what not even that full, i just ended up having a delay of nearly 2 hours when arriving at the venue. But let´s talk about that later. So yeah, the bus trip was pretty relaxed, I mostly slept and was daydreaming to gain some power and strength before arriving somewhere in the fucking middle of nowhere – still Bielefeld, but far off the center. So I still had to take a train to the center, and then walked to the venue – at least the sun was shining. That was making it all really bearable, though the 2km walk was somehow annoying, even though I had stored much of stuff in a locker at the main station to have food and drinks later on.

One of the old trains in front of the venue

When arriving at Ringlokschuppen, I was positively surprised – a nice building, and also nice and old trains close to it. One old train was being moved there and it was pretty interesting to actually watch the whole specatcle, so time was passing by rather fast until a girl I had met on the internet showed up. Also before I teamed up with some fans that already were there, and one of those guys that came really early still had no ticket – and I had a spare one, so I gave it away for free. You might wonder why I give away 30 Euros just like this – I am grateful and really lucky to be able to work as press and even if not, I would have the chance on guestlist places. And because this is something not everyone has, I wanna do something good in such cases. And I think it´s nothing bad, right? I know we live in a selfish way, where such things hardly happen, and it´s why it was the right thing to do – and look into this totally amazed, stunned, speechles and extremely happy face of this person who couldn´t believe it and couldn´t stop thanking me.

Then on last second I actually went to do the interview with the support band, Tracer, in the backstage. Was a fun time, and I still need to type it all down for it being published. Afterwards I went to pick up my press pass, as I was working as a photographer and was really excited about it even though my neck and shoulders were giving a hell of a time because they were stiff and giving me pain.

Me & Franky Perez

The light were somehow not really making me happy, and I felt unsure if my photos were any good – to be honest, I think that those photos I took that are the best ones, are the ones of Apocalyptica singer Franky Perez – but I also really enjoy photographing him because he is so full of gestures and singing with soul and body…it is amazing to look at! Generally the guys are amazing to look at and the show is just mindblowing, but I am just struggling with handling the lights and many of the venues lack proper lights from the front – unless you wanna take shadow shots, which can also be pretty fancy, of course. But yeah, the show was really good once more, even though Franky´s voice sounded a bit weaker than the day before in Hamburg, and that made me a bit worried. But when waiting together with the girls I had met when waiting before the show, Franky came and ensured me he was doing good. I really hope it was true, and that he doesn´t get sick like me – as I

Old tower close to the venue

already knew when standing outside in the cold, that something was aproaching.

Waiting was worth it, it was a nice time again and afterwards I hopped onto a cab with the girl I had met via the inetrnet, as she offered me a warm and dry place to stay at until my train was leaving at 6am in the morning. She had a hotel room close to the train station and there we went, chatting, laughing, shariny stories…it was a sweet time, and time really passed by quickly. Then I hopped onto the train to Hannover, and there I had a 40min delay of my train to Hamburg – it was terrible, even though I had grabbed some breakfast. I was feeling totally exhausted, dead tired, was shaking and dizziness was taking over. In the end I had been up and running without sleep for around 30 hours I think, and then when home, I just dropped into bed and slep until the afternoon. When waking up I already felt a tad sick, hoping it would not get any worse…

Shadowmakers? No more!

Photo taken by my friend

You choke out the light like a cloud hanging over me
You’re dragging me down with your suicidal symphony
Shadow maker
[Apocalyptica – “Shadowmaker”]

I am starting off with this quote from the song, as it´s become a really important song to me during my time in the US, smply because I found a deep connection to this song, and to every word in it. And for many more reasons, the word “shadowmaker” has been a term that I used a lot during the past half a year. Don´t get it wrong, for me it is no depressing song, it is a song of motivation for me in some strange way.

Anyways, Apocalyptica ame to Hamburg on October 3rd, and of course I had to be there. But first I met up with a good friend of mine, who I met through the band like 7 years ago. We had a lovely time at Vapiano (restaurant) and then went to some signing session of the band at Saturn. I was surprised how few people actually showed up, and also surprised that singer Franky was not there, but no can do. The signing session had been advertised to be also coming with some little acoustic session, but that didn´t happen – I don´t know why, but it was not much of a disappointment for me anways.

It was sweet to see the guys again, and I can say that realizing that people are happy to see me still makes me all fuzzy and warm inside. Especially with these guys. It partially felt like…coming home in some sense. I was immediately calm, and it just felt good to be chatting a little, handing over some good news and looking in a relieved face of someone who´s not only someone who gave me inspiration for the past ten years, but also so much hope, strength and who believed in me and kept on telling me that every fucking time (no, I am not getting emotional here whilst typing this…where´s some tissues?). But – no more details for you ^^ If you´re eligible for details, you will get them anyways…

Then after the session, we headed to the venue that was not yet that packed, so we got a nice spot on the right side (yes, it is “my” side for so many years already) on some higher part so even little me had an amazing view on the stage – and the people on stage on me, as I figured pretty fast. It is not surprising me anymore that some of the guys search for me in the crowd, but somehow this time it felt…different. There´s been a lot of little gestures towards me, and that made me terribly emotional. I knew I was gonna be emotional but did not expect it to be that much.

Especially with some of the songs they played – I mean, I was happy to not hear “Nothing else matters” because I had to handle painful memories connected to this song for the past around 27 out of 28 shows I´ve seen of them. And it didn´t come. It wasn´t played. Instead (for me it is a “instead”) they played “Hope Vol2” – which did not kill me as much as the other song would, but also really cracked me – especially because I really did not expect that song to be played. And during the first tunes I was like “okay, really?”. Aaaaand there came the tears. Like so often during that show. I felt like I was a permanently halfway sobbing mess. But a happy emotional mess. It felt really good to see all this power on stage again, and I just love Franky´s vocals – I never guessed I´d be saying this, but this man really kills it and is THE perfect match for Apocalyptica. I really hope that he´ll be staying much longer with the band.

After the show, I ran into one of the guys and had a quick chat before my friend and I nearly went home because of massive stomach pains I had – those faded, and so we went for a drink in one of the bars close to the venue. It was the perfect way how to end this evening, before I started my way home. Still had to pack some last things for my trip on Saturday, shower, bed – and it was already 2am then…

Helrocks.com : Sixx:A.M. / Apocalyptica / Vamps – Philadelphia (April 2015)

Everyone always knew that I was crazy- crazy about music and especially live music, but still I looked into surprised faces when I started my trip in order to see Vamps, Apocalyptica and Sixx:A.M. on their American Modern Vintage tour.

On this sunny day, the queue in front of the Electric Factory in Philadelphia was rather long already, and you were able to see familiar faces all along if you had been attending any earlier gigs of this tour. It´s a big family, this is at least how it all felt like when enjoying the sun and having good chats before the doors opened…

READ MORE:

http://www.helrocks.com/articles/sixx-a-m-apocalyptica-vamps/

Interview: Perttu Kivilaakso (Apocalyptica)

At the end of their support tour for the US band Sixx:A.M. in the States, cellist Perttu Kivilaakso and I decided to sit down together and have an intensive chat about their latest album “Shadowmaker”, even though the band´s schedule was busy and the idea for thisinterview had come out of the blue and was fully spontaneous.

Part 1
http://www.stalker.cd/?lang=2&content=81&id=507

Part 2
http://www.stalker.cd/?lang=1&content=81&id=508&&lang=2

———————————————

Am Ende ihrer Support-Tour für die US-Band Sixx:A.M. in den USA beschlossen Cellist Perttu Kivilaakso und ich, uns zusammenzusetzen und uns intensiv über ihr aktuelles Album “Shadowmaker” zu unterhalten, obwohl der Terminkalender der Band voll war und diese Interview-Idee ungeplant und völlig spontan aufkam.

Teil 1
http://www.stalker.cd/?lang=2&content=81&id=507&&lang=1

Teil 2
http://www.stalker.cd/?lang=1&content=81&id=508

Photos/Fotos: Apocalyptica

ALBANY / CLIFTON PARK

More/Mehr:
https://carinaullmannphotography1.wordpress.com/2015/05/04/apocalyptica-26-04-2015-upstate-concert-hall-clifton-park-usa/

PHILADELPHIA

More/Mehr:
https://carinaullmannphotography1.wordpress.com/2015/05/07/apocalyptica-28-04-2015-electric-factory-philadelphia-usa/

SILVER SPRING

More/Mehr:
https://carinaullmannphotography1.wordpress.com/2015/05/10/apocalyptica-29-04-2015-fillmore-silver-spring-usa/

29.04.2015 – Silver Spring – A last gig, a shrink and some tears // 29.04.2015 – Silver Spring – Ein letztes Konzert, ein Seelenklempner und Tränchen

Wow. This day was so…full and crazy somehow that it is extremely tough to find a point where to start. Usually in the morning of that day I know, I know.

I got up at 5.30 am and sneaked out of the hostel to not really wake anyone, went to Philadelphia main station and got an expensive train to Washington and from there on I went by metro to Silver Spring. The weather was insane, it was summer weather – hot, sun burning down on you and hardly any shade in the place where we were in line. I had seen many familiar faces again, which is always great. Not that great was that with every minute I was feeling more sick, dizzy and weak. It was awful, and I had moments where I really was just a second away from passing out. I am not even mentioning the sunburn that I have on my lower arms – it is hilarious in some way. Not really positive, but I cannot change it anymore.

When I arrived at the venue, I still had no make up on, been wearing a beanie and looking like shit – and ran into Franky from Apocalyptica. Cheers. This is exactly how I wanna look like in such a situation, not. But well, why do I also walk in direction of the tourbusses if I don´t wanna be seen.

The rest of the time until afternoon was rather quiet, except for Dj Ashba from Sixx:AM taking a lot of time to make everyone happy in regards of photos, hugs, chats and signatures. A great guy who still knows what counts.

Due to the fact that I wouldn´t be let into the venue with my camera gear, the Apocalyptica tour manager gave me another photo pass, which was so sweet. I had to bring my backpack and such to the cloak room to store it there, but hey, I was able to photograph. But first things first: there was still part of the interview or better talk with Perttu. We had started it yesterday, but didn´t have enough time so squeezed it in today again, shortly before their show actually – and that surprised me. So we sat down on the tourbus, and this is actually where the time has come to explain the “shrink” part in the headline of this blog entry. He felt like it was a shrink session, as we had the first part of the interview and just on the next day we were now continuing it and his association were therapy sessions with a shrink, which amused me quite a bit.
Anyways, it was a really nice second part of the interview that only covers “Shadowmaker” as an album and all the things that are background story to it. For myself it was also highly interesting, as things had come up which I hadn´t even thought about yet as a possibility and reason behind decisions. Typing and translating it will be much work, but it will be worth it. At some point it got really close to the stage time for the guys, so we had to end the interview – crazy how fast time is passing by when you have an interesting time like this.

This day I was not allowed to go into the photo pit, but secured a nice spot up on the balcony where for Sixx:AM the people with the following spotlights are placed. Finally a nice angle especially for photographing drums. The show really touched me, right from the start on. Knowing that it was the last show of this tour and that I won´t be seeing them in months, it kinda was always in the back of my mind. “Nothing else matters” then totally crushed me, and from this on, the tears were running permanently. I have no idea why, but I couldn´t help it. But I still loved every second of the show and sucked it up as if there was no tomorrow.

Then during Sixx:AM I decided to go to the balcony, as I had a nice view from there and a good sound and not that many people. Perfect combination I´d say. They again showed a really good show, but…you know mostly it was like the two times before and it felt like it was getting a tad boring.

After the show, my waiting line peepz and me were waiting around the tourbusses and take a guess who was again first one out – Dj Ashba. And again taking time for everyone´s wishes, and it is amazing that he actually recognizes people again (like I also experience earlier on at lunch time). The amount of people waiting was massive, I would have never expected this. After some more time, also singer James Michael came out and later on also Nikki Sixx. Latter one did not want to take photos with the fans, so I was kinda out of the whole. I don´t want a signature, it is either a photo with him or nothing. So I just watched him doing all the signing and chatting. Simply because I was still mostly waiting for Apocalyptica, of whom I had only seen Franky until that point and had a short chat (too short when you ask me, I wanna know more about this guy with the “Apocalyptica voice”). After Sixx:AM had been outside, it got really really empty because only a tony fragment of the people were there for Apocalyptica. We were maybe…6 people, including myself. And then Paavo and Eicca finally came outside, and we made sure they are not running past.

So yeah, we spent quite a while with Eicca and Paavo, and then it all came to an end. It was late (or early?) already, the guys needed rest and I needed to get to Washington somehow to catch my bus…in the middle of the night…in a place where I had never been before…all emotional and exhausted…

—————————————————————–

Wow. Der Tag war so…voll und irgendwie verrückt, dass es echt schwer ist einen Anfangspunkt zu finden für diesen Eintrag. Ja ich weiß, meistens fange ich morgens an…

Ich bin um 5.30 Uhr morgens aufgestanden und bin aus der Jugendherberge herausgeschlichen um niemanden aufzuwecken, bin dann zum Bahnhof in Philadelphia und habe einen teuren Zug nach Washington genommen und von dort aus bin ich dann mit der Metro nach Silver Spring weitergefahren. Das Wetter war verrückt, totales Sommerwetter – heiß, brennende Sonne und man konnte kaum Schatten finden wenn man mal vor der Halle war. In der Schlange habe ich dann wieder bekannte Gesichter gesehen, was immer toll ist. Aber nicht so toll war es, dass ich jede Minute mich einfach kranker fühlte, mir wurde mehr schwindlig und fühlte mich schwach. Es war arg, ich hatte echt Zeiten wo ich dachte dass ich bald aus den Latschen kippen würde. Ich erwähne nicht einmal, dass meine Unterarme einen tollen Sonnenbrand abbekommen haben – irgendwie amüsant. Nicht wirklich positiv, aber ich kann´s nicht mehr ändern.

Als ich an der Halle ankam war ich immer noch ungeschminkt, trug eine Mütze und sah richtig scheiße aus, und bin dann in Franky von Apocalyptica reingerannt. Prima. Genau so wollte ich dann in so einer Situation aussehen. Na ja, wieso gehe ich auch in Richtung der Tourbusse wenn ich nicht gesehen werden will…

Der Rest des Nachmittags war eher ruhig, D.j. Ashba von Sixx:A.M. hat sich einmal mehr sehr viel Zeit für seine Fans genommen wenn es um Unterschriften, Fotos, Umarmungen ging. Toller Kerl, der weiß worauf es ankommt.

Dadurch, dass man mich nicht mit meiner Kamerausrüstung in die Halle lassen würde, hat mir der Apocalyptica Tourmanager einen weiteren Fotopass bekommen, was so lieb war. Ich musste meinen Rucksack und all das in der Garderobe abgeben, aber hey, ich konnte fotografieren. Aber ganz langsam: es stand immer noch ein Teil des Interviews, oder besser Gesprächs mit Perttu aus. Wir hatten es gestern begonnen und hatten nicht genug Zeit, daher wurde es heute reingequetscht, kurz vor ihrer Show um ehrlich zu sein – und das hat mich überrascht. Wir haben uns im Tourbus zusammengesetzt, und das ist auch der Moment wo ich das mit dem „Seelenklempner“ vom Titel des Blogeintrags erklären sollte. Er meinte, dass es sich anfühlen würde wie eine Sitzung mit einem Seelenklempner, da wir gestern die erste Sitzung hatten und heute die zweite Sitzung machten – eben wie beim Seelenklempner, was mich doch schon amüsiert hat.
na ja, es war eine nette Zeit einmal mehr, ein Interview in dem es nur um das aktuelle Album „Shadowmaker“ geht, mit allem was dazugehört. Für mich selbst war es auch spannend, weil da Sachen zur Sprache kamen, an die ich so noch gar nicht gedacht hatte. Es zu tippen und zu übersetzen wird einiges an Arbeit sein, aber es wird sich lohnen. Irgendwann stellten wir fest, dass die Zeit auf die Bühne zu gehen doch seeehr nahe war, und daher haben wir das Interview beendet – verrückt wie schnell die Zeit vergeht, wenn es s interessant ist.

Dieses Mal durfte ich nicht in den Fotograben, aber ich habe mir einen tollen Platz auf dem Balkon gesichert, da wo die Spotlights aufgestellt waren. Endlich mal eine tolle Position um das Schlagzeug zu fotografieren. Die Show hat mich wirklich berührt, vom Anfang an. Zu wissen, dass es die letzte Show der Tour ist und dass ich sie für Monate nicht mehr sehen werde war einfach immer im Hinterkopf. „Nothing else matters“ hat mich dann komplett zermatscht, und von da an liefen die Tränen fast ohne Pause. Ich habe keine Ahnung wieso, aber es war halt so. Aber ich habe trotzdem jede Sekunde des Auftritts genossen und aufgesogen als gäbe es kein Morgen mehr.

Dann während Sixx:A.M. habe ich mich entschieden mich auf den Balkon zu stellen, man hatte einen guten Blick und nicht so viele Leute und der Sound war auch gut. Perfekte Kombination, würde ich sagen. Es war wieder einmal eine tolle Show, aber…es war halt wie die beiden male zuvor und ich hatte ein bisschen das Gefühl, dass es fad wird…

Nach der Show sind dann meine Leute und ich zu den Tourbussen und ratet mal wer dann als erstes wieder draußen bei uns Fans war – D.j. Ashba . Und wieder hat er sich zeit genommen für die Wünsche der Fans und was ich toll finde ist, dass er Leute wiedererkennt (was ich auch Mittags schon erlebt habe). Die Menge an Leuten, die gewartet haben, war massiv, das hätte ich wirklich nie erwartet. Nach ein bisschen längerer Wartezeit kam dann auch James Michael raus und am Ende dann auch Nikki Sixx. Letzterer wollte keine Fotos mit dem Fans machen, daher war ich raus. Ich wollte keine Unterschrift, es war entweder ein Foto oder gar nichts. Daher habe ich ihm bei seinem Tun einfach nur zugeschaut. Ganz einfach weil ich auch weitgehend für Apocalyptica gewartet habe, von denen ich bis zu dem Zeitpunkt nur Franky gesehen hatte und kurz geredet hatte (ich will echt mehr über die „Stimme“ von Apocalyptica wissen). Nachdem Sixx:A.M. draußen waren, wurde es sehr leer weil nur sehr wenige Leute auch auf Apocalyptica warten wollten…wir waren vielleicht 6 Leute, mich eingeschlossen. Und dann kamen Eicca und Paavo aus der Halle, und wir haben sichergestellt, dass sie nicht verschwinden.

So also…wir haben ein bisschen Zeit mit Eicca und Paavo verbracht, und dann war halt alles vorbei. Es war sehr spät (oder früh?), und die Jungs brauchten Ruhe und ich musste irgendwie nach Washington kommen um meinen Bus zu bekommen…Mitten in der Nacht…in einem Ort wo ich noch nie zuvor gewesen war…total emotional und erschöpft…